[Begin Dispatch]

Hello, Dear Citizen, and good day to you!

This is a final friendly reminder from B.O.A.R.—your Beloved Overlord Authoritarian Regime—about the Subscriber Survey recently sent to you by electronic mail services.

If you have already completed the survey,

Well Done!

We value your contribution to the ongoing WORK, and have many wonderful rewards of Praise and Kind Thoughts to send you!

If you have not completed the Subscriber Survey, available to all Dear Citizens, well then—please be a...