The phrase “Just let it go!” can feel infuriating when you’re grieving.

It’s one of those grief clichés that’s allegedly well-meaning but actually deeply dismissive and hurtful. You’re told to let go of the pain, to move on, or to leave the past behind, as if grief is something you can simply drop and walk away from like it never mattered.

So what does it really mean to “let go” after loss?

And is it even possible without also letting go of your memories, your ide...