Today’s Dating is Intentional, Not Instant
Over 1,200 OkCupid singles reveal how they’re dating this year, and what really matters most

Dating in 2025 isn’t about matching fast or falling harder. It’s about getting real, moving intentionally, and finding connections that align with your values (and maybe your star sign, too). We surveyed more than 1,200 singles on OkCupid to better understand how people are dating right now, and let’s just say: the vibe has shifted.

Here’s what’s in, what’s out, and what Gen Z and Millennials (aka 90% of our respondents) are thinking about when it comes to modern love.

Apps Are Still It

Despite what your one friend who met their partner at a dinner party keeps saying, dating apps aren’t going anywhere. In fact, they’re still the primary way people are meeting romantic prospects in 2025, especially among younger singles:

57% of respondents said they’re meeting people primarily through dating appsOnly 11% are meeting partners “in real life” (through work, friends, or events)And 38% are doing a mix of both

So no, you’re not the only one who hasn’t locked eyes across a crowded bookstore lately. You’re just dating in the 21st century.

Slower, Softer Dating Is the Mood

“Intentional dating” isn’t just a trending phrase. It’s a lifestyle. When we asked people to describe their current dating mindset, one thing was clear: gone are the days of rapid-fire flings and undefined situationships:

71% of singles said they’re looking for something meaningful, even if it takes time52% are open to what feels right but want clarity25% are dating slowly to protect their energy

Basically, dating with purpose is in. Ghosting and playing it cool? Out.

That also shows up in how people are managing their connections: 40% of daters are focused on just one person at a time. Not because they’re not getting matches, but because they’re getting serious.

Values First, Situationships Second

So what’s actually guiding people’s approach to dating this year? Spoiler alert: it’s not TikTok advice or reality TV.

61% said personal values and life goals shape how they date34% are influenced by past relationshipsSocial media, pop culture, and even friends barely registered

The takeaway? Today’s singles know what they want because they’ve taken the time to learn from what didn’t work.

DTR: Define the Relationship, But Don’t Rush It

Even with all this intentionality, most daters aren’t rushing to label things. That doesn’t mean they’re avoiding commitment — it just means they’re moving at their own pace.

31% prefer to take things slow and see where it goes28% are ready to define things when they feel it22% bring it up after a few good datesOnly 6% avoid labels altogether

So yes, “What are we?” is still alive and well. It’s just being asked on your timeline, not society’s.

We See You, Stalkers (Same)

Before going on a first date, more than half of respondents admit they do a little…research.

57% check their date’s Instagram20% Google their political views13% look up their zodiac sign10% dig into salary or job title

No judgment here! Consider it dating due diligence.

Sex, Money, and Everything In Between

When it comes to money, most daters aren’t looking for a specific income, they’re looking for ambition and alignment.

68% would date someone who makes significantly less, as long as they’re driven or money isn’t a priority for themOnly 11% flat-out said they wouldn’t

As for sex? It matters. A lot.

79% say sexual compatibility is either “very” or “extremely” important to relationship successBut that doesn’t mean people are rushing into those conversations. More than half (52%) of singles prefer to wait until it comes up naturally, while 21% talk about it after a few dates

Once in a relationship, the majority want a balance: 72% prefer a mix of spontaneous and scheduled sex.

So what does all of this mean?

Dating in 2025 is thoughtful. It’s emotionally aware. And it’s happening (mostly) on apps like OkCupid. Whether you’re figuring it out or already found your person, one thing’s for sure: there’s no “right” way to date. But a little clarity, intention, and maybe some Instagram sleuthing can’t hurt.

Looking to date more meaningfully this year? You know where to find us.

Media contact: MichaelK@OkCupid.com

Now that you know what’s important to singles, it’s time to match on what matters to you! Download OkCupid to find a date today.

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Today’s Dating is Intentional, Not InstantOver 1,200 OkCupid singles reveal how they’re dating… was originally published in OkCupid Dating Blog on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.