a guest blog by Bob Wheatley

There’s a certain longing that only single people know. Many question arise when it comes to relationships. How do we navigate our years of singleness as believers? How should a Christian approach biblical dating?

Maybe for you, it is the void that you feel when you’ve had a long day. You walk into your apartment, tired and hungry, once again ready to eat dinner alone. Or maybe it’s when your phone doesn’t light up, with no one calling or texting to see how you’ve been.

What’s wrong with me? Am I destined to walk this journey alone?

The silence begins to speak, louder and louder. It begins to accuse us of being unworthy of love. Before long, we believe it. I can speak from experience.

I used to think of singleness as a time of delay, or even worse, something we had to escape, like the boogie man. Once marriage arrived, I reasoned, I would finally experience wholeness.

But as my season of singleness continued, I took on a different view. My transformation started when I was confronted by 1 Corinthians 7, and the timeless wisdom of the apostle Paul. In that New Testament epistle, he says this to singles:

“To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single … to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord.” —1 Corinthians 7:8, 35 (ESV)

It is good for us to remain single? How could this be?

Paul’s words sounded impossible the first time I read them, so I ignored them and moved on with my life. But as time went on, I always thought back to his words of encouragement: I wish you could remain as you are.

The deeper I went with God, the more Paul’s words came alive to me. Suddenly, I did not see singleness as a lesser season. It was a divine assignment from a Father who loves me. I decided I would no longer be consumed with seeking a wife. Instead, I simply would focus on Jesus.

A season of singleness is not always easy, but it can be rich in blessings. Day by day, I have seen my character changed from the inside out. What once felt like torture has revealed a great purpose.

Here are the three top advantages that I’ve found in my singleness, and I pray that you find them as well:

1. MORE TIME FOR GOD

The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided.” —1 Corinthians 7:32-34 ESV

My newly-married friends have affirmed this truth. Sometimes, they simply don’t have the time to read their Bibles in the morning. They lose out on quiet time. They can’t pray as much as they used to. The single Christian­—although potentially facing more loneliness—certainly has more time to seek the Lord. The question is: Are we taking advantage of the time that we have?

2. MORE TIME FOR YOU

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” —Ephesians 2:10 ESV

Relationships take up a lot of time. In both dating and marriage relationships alike, our time must be shared with the person at our side. When our interests are divided, we have less time in the day to serve our church, discover our passions, advance professionally, or wait on the Lord to reveal His will. In our season of singleness, we have the unique ability to discover your gifts, talents, passions, and burdens.

3. MORE TIME FOR SUFFERING

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. —Hebrews 12:11 ESV

Make no mistake, it is actually suffering, not pleasure, that develops our character into holiness. In fact, Hebrews 2:10 even says that Jesus Himself was made perfect through suffering. By walking through our seasons of singleness, God is molding and shaping us into His image. All pain is painful, but not all pain is harmful. We can trust our Father to make the most of this season.

Nowadays, I am learning to ask myself better questions. What if our singleness is not a pause, a delay, or a time to be “endured”? What if, on the contrary, God is giving us a blessing that we should actually cherish? What if God is less interested in changing our relationship status—and more interested in shaping our souls?

If you find yourself in an unmarried season, hear me on this: You are not falling behind. You are not invisible, and you are not forgotten. You are right where God wants you to be—single, available, and receiving His blessings.

Here is the truth that God wants us to find: We find Hope in our seasons of singleness. Now seek Him with all that you are!

Bob Wheatley is the #1 Bestselling Author of Single-Minded: Finding Purpose & Strength in Your Season of Singleness. His work has been featured on Way-FM, THE FISH, KCBI Christian Radio, ESPN, Fox Sports, and various other international outlets. After playing professional baseball for the Toronto Blue Jays and St. Louis Cardinals, he moved to Nashville, Tennessee, where he now works as an author and speaker. You can visit Bob’s website at www.bobwheatley.com.

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