There are a few things I’ve learned in my 54 years of life. I feel like I should have learned more but I got a few truths I live by.

1- If someone doesn’t love you or like you don’t spend energy trying to change that. The only exception is if there was once love then fight for it but you really do have to decide if it’s really worth the fight. Sometimes there is still love but it’s changed and that will require new boundaries and new rules of engagement.

2- Don’t sweat the small stuff. There are plenty of big battles to prioritize so don’t waste energy on the little things.

3- There will be lots of people just aching to make you the villain in their story. Trauma will cause them to need you to be the villain. You don’t have to play that character. You can walk away.

4- How you react to someone’s behavior is on you. Stop letting other people pull reactions from you that are out of your character. Too many people climb that ladder of oneupmanship and when that ladder falls all parties are injured. The key is to stay off that ladder.

5- Balance is what makes the universe work. Extremism is the real evil we fight. Within ourselves, on a physical and molecular level. I include political and religious extremism in that. Far right or far left extremism always has the same result and it always involves hate for something or someone.

I had so many nightmares last night. And I spent the morning trying to figure out what was on my mind. Sometimes you just have to reflect on who you are and what you believe because the news, the back biting, the name calling even as a joke can start to gunk up your heart.

Bad stuff is happening. It always has and it seems like it’s getting worse. It is more important than ever to focus on kindness, on exposing the dark with our light. We can’t allow ourselves to get folded into the hate. We must remember to be the balance the world needs.

BE MY EYES: an art piece I did from a ruined canvas. It’s pink and blue with blood shot monster eyes peeking through what looks like a wall of muscle.