It has not been a good week. Monday evening brought extremely angry rhetoric at a town board meeting over zoning, of all things. As the week unfolded, that all seemed trivial in comparison to the tragedies that unfolded.

Tuesday brought awareness of a major personal problem a good friend is facing, as well as the loss of a speaking engagement because of reluctance to allow DEI events. Wednesday was, well, Wednesday. Two students were shot at a high school not 20 miles from where two of my granddaughters attend high school.

The other shooting that took place that day took the life of a young husband and father who was living out with conviction his beliefs that he thought were incontrovertably true. He was mistaken, as most are who are one hundred percent sure of the rightness of their perspective, but no one deserves to be killed for it, not ever. The Utah killing received overwhelming national media coverage. I have a lot of thoughts.

First, I was greatly encouraged by the way in which Spencer Cox, the governor of Utah, handled the killing there. Every time he spoke, there was an appeal to a classic liberal understanding of America, that there is more that unites us than divides us. His words attempted healing, and poignantly so.  It was in extreme contrast to what the president of the United States was saying. I would like to know Governor Cox, though I imagine he would not generally be supportive of me as a transgender person.

Second, it was moving to see how a father in southern Utah put the nation’s wellbeing over his son’s, convincing his son to turn himself in. Whatever else is true about the alleged shooter’s father, he did have an extraordinary sense of moral clarity in the midst of what was undoubtedly the worst day of his life.

I was also struck by the similarities between the two shooters. Both had been radicalized by the Internet. Both were loners, young men obsessed with their online activities. The etchings on the shell casings showed someone obsessed with gaming culture, which is often violent in nature, and almost always the territory of young men struggling to find their way in the world. I think of my past clients who have been obsessed with video games. All were male. All were angry. And I loved them all. They were good young men, struggling to find their way. There are evil people in the world, but most who do evil are not inherently evil. They are horribly wounded.

The media responded on Wednesday as they are programmed to do. We have become so inured to school shootings that outside of Colorado Public Radio and other Denver media, no national media led with the school shooting. They led with what would bring ratings, which drives profits, the shooting in Utah. James Hillman said the only God that remains is the economy. I think he is right.

For two reasons, I was frightened for my own safety on Wednesday. I thought of the lawmakers killed in Minnesota, killings already fading from the news. I don’t think I’m in danger as mayor pro tem in my town, but I am no longer certain that is the case.

Mostly, I feared for my own life this week because very quickly after the shooting, it was apparently leaked from the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms that etchings on the bullet casings had transgender messaging. It turned out to be a lie, but in today’s world that does not matter one tiny bit. The conspiracy machine will churn out hatred. Will anyone try to find and discipline the ATF employee who took that message public? You know the answer to that.

The last question asked in Wednesday’s Utah event related to transgender people and mass shootings. When asked if he knew how many transgender mass shootings there were in America, the answer was “too many,” which elicited cheers and applause from the audience. It was a technically correct answer, but ultimately disingenuous. The answer was two. More importantly, two of 502.

Less than one half of one percent of mass shooters were  identified as transgender. And their identification as transgender included an exceedingly broad definition of what it means to be transgender. How many of the 502 were young men who were loners, radicalized online? Just about all.

It is frightening that I have been targeted as a danger to society. That is what happens when fear becomes your shadow government. It is the result of those who espouse divisive rhetoric and eschew data. Anger is more than just toxic. It is deadly. We live in the midst of a wildfire of toxic anger.

The world is not evil. Mankind is not evil. Original sin is a made-up doctrine of the Reformation. Are there evil people? Yes, a few. Do hurting people perpetrate evil? Yes. That is what we saw this week and tragically, it is what we see every week. It is unlikely that my life will end in violence, but it is not out of the question. Should that happen, remember, the world is not evil. It is hurting people who perpetrate evil.