Whenever we lose someone close to us, we may feel shock, anger or even a sense of abandonment or any of the seven stages of grief. If the person had endured a long period of illness, we are relieved that they are no longer suffering, but we are stunned just the same.

When the fog evaporates and we can finally see clearly again, we may say softly, “Okay.” It happened.” But we are still in pain as we acknowledge that we have lost a dear one. We slowly move towards acceptance and we are no longer petrified nor immobilized by sorrow.

If we are lucky, we will have years to absorb it and wholeheartedly embrace the circumstances as we understand the cycle of life. People are born and people die. They pass away from sight though their words and actions stay imprinted upon our memories.

Over time, we learn that they are still closely hovering around like an angel. At the least expected moment, we may have a laugh-out-loud moment when we recall certain conversations that only the two shared. This is a reminder that they are still somewhere watching over us. Those are the gains.They are forever with us.

Every person with whom we had close ties, altered us in some way. Our lives are richer because we knew them. And, even after they pass on, they leave remnants of themselves embedded deep down in our souls. Kahlil Gibran’s two book titles say it all in either A Tear and A Smile or Tears and Laughter. Though the tears may flow, the smiles will surely come as we remember the good times.

There are many famous phrases about parting but I believe that the French proverb says it best. “Partir, c’est mourir un peu” (Parting is to die a little).

To my cousin, Nita.

Lynn M.
September 27, 2025