No, seriously, who do YOU think you are?Photo by Alexei Maridashvili on Unsplash

It’s all too easy to worry about what others think of you. Hell, whole industries exist to address this.

Almost every single advertisement sells you on the idea that if you don’t buy this product or service, you won’t get laid, everyone will think less of you, you’ll miss out, and so on. Be the envy of your friends and family by buying “X” rather than the butt of the joke or the least among others.

It also doesn’t help that over the last decade or so, many people have become celebrities and influencers only because of how they go out of their way to make an impression on other people. Look at all the reality TV featuring horrid, obnoxious, self-absorbed examples of people.

It’s all too easy to lose sight of yourself when you feel as if you must compete. Except, truth be told, for the most part, we are not in competition.

True competition

Professional sports and athletics are competitions. Football games, races between runners, drivers, or jockeys on horses, spelling bees, numerous cooking shows on Food Network, and the like. These are all competitions.

Unless you’re participating in something of this nature, you are not in competition with anyone else. Yet social norms often hold up this, that, or the other thing as being all about competing.

Politicians often get elected by convincing people that everyone is competing against them to take what’s theirs. They create an “other” competing with you for resources that must be stomped out. Never mind that we’re not in competition because most of the supposedly finite resources are not so finite (and the other is surprisingly similar to you in most ways). But I digress.

In truth, who YOU think you are is far more important than what anyone else thinks. And that’s for one very specific, important reason.

Only you know what you think of yourself

You are the only one in your head, heart, and soul. You, and you alone, know your thoughts, feelings, intentions, positivity or negativity of approach, and actions. More than this, however, you alone can control and change them at will.

Who, what, where, how, and why you are will be impacted and influenced by many things outside of your control. You didn’t choose where you were born, who your parents were, your family’s social status, and more. This might have created some limiting factors that have proven challenging to overcome.

Yet, you have the power to overcome almost all of them. It might not be easy; some of the choices you make along the way could be partial or between the lesser of two evils. Nonetheless, you have the power over your life experience.

At least, if you’re reading this, you have a degree of freedom you can choose to work with and from.

Your superpower is that you get to choose who you think you are. That, however, is not necessarily easy.

Photo by Bekah Russom on UnsplashEnter combat with the brain weasels

Lots of people have inner dialogues that can cause distress, self-sabotage, a lack of self-esteem, imposter syndrome, and the like. Endless chatter telling you that you’re not good enough, smart enough, wise enough, thin enough, and on and on. We often personify this as squirrels in the brain or brain weasels.

These obnoxious, unhelpful thoughts make you question who you think you are. Not from a good place, however, but a place of lack, scarcity, and insufficiency. They will tell you that your self-care is selfish, self-esteem is egoistic, self-thought is narcissistic, and that putting yourself first in any way makes you a bad person. Or worse.

For many, before you can determine who you think you are, these need to be addressed and often stomped out. These are subconscious elements and the ego clinging to comfort zones for fear of what you might become if you grow. Or fear that you are unworthy and undeserving, and should be more concerned about what others think of you.

Which —and this is massively important — is something you can’t control at all and is seldom what you believe it to be.

Who they think you are and who you think they think you are don’t align

Pause a moment. With the exception of certain individuals you don’t know but are constantly bombarded with information about, who do you think anyone else is? Do you analyze and think that much about siblings, parents, coworkers, friends, or anyone else – when they are not in your immediate presence?

In all likelihood, the answer is no. President Trump and his merry band of assholes might occupy some of your thoughts along this line, but people in your everyday life probably don’t much, if at all.

That goes both ways. You don’t think about who they are, and they don’t think about who you are. When all is said and done, that’s because who, what, where, how, and why you are is about you alone, and nobody else. Likewise, who, what, where, how, and why anyone else is bears on them alone. Not you.

Hence, rather than focus on others and what they think of you, give more time and energy to what you think of you. This is not selfish; it’s how you become empowered to live life on your chosen terms.

Who do you think YOU are?

Only you know the answer. If it’s not an answer you like, only you can change it. That starts by knowing the answer in the first place.

The answer is found by practicing active conscious awareness. Via mindfulness, you can determine what you’re thinking, what and how you’re feeling, your intentions, the positivity or negativity of your approach, and what actions you are or aren’t taking. All of these, when identified here and now, can be altered, changed, and redirected by you if so desire.

You can only change your life. That can be distressing, but it’s the truth. To do that, you must first know who you think you are. That can only be determined here and now via mindfulness.

Your subconscious mind and your ego are not who you are, but they might be who you think you are. They will strive to keep you safe, even when that safety is utterly false. Hence, comfort zones are a misnomer and are often uncomfortable false-stability zones.

Change is the only constant in the universe. Opening yourself to it empowers you. That’s why it’s important to know who you think you are. Because if the answer displeases you, you have all the power to change it.

So, who do YOU think you are?

This is the seventh-hundred-nineteenth (719) exploration of my Pathwalking philosophy. These weekly essays are my ideas for – and experiences with – applying mindfulness and positivity to walk along a chosen path of life to consciously create reality.

I share this journey as part of my desire to make a difference in this world and empower as many people as I can with conscious reality creation.

Thank you for joining me. Feel free to repost and share this.

The first year of Pathwalking, including expanded ideas, is available here. Check out my author website for the rest of my published fiction and nonfiction works.

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