Getting up early and it’s still completely dark

Before the dogs wake and begin to bark

Feeling across for my pants

As they slide off the chair, leading to one of my quiet rants

My wife is still fast asleep, 5am is no time for her to wake

I’m moving as stealthily as I can

Not till 7 will she require a shake

I feel across the floor, they must be between here and the door

Found them at last

As I pull them on fast

Socks, shirt and shorts

Frustration is leading to all sorts

I’ve been getting dressed in the dark for years

But to leave something behind has always been one of my fears

Back in the days of operating in the trees

I’d check all my kit on bended knees

Weapon, magazines, Bergen and belt kit

Basha packed away, everything must fit

Sitting on my Bergen, “stood too” before first light

A great time for an enemy attack

Even before any of us has had our daily shite

But here I am today retired

Badly letting myself down

If I’m to be in a bad road accident

The paramedics will no doubt frown

Why’s he wearing his pants on backwards?

They will be heard to say

They just won’t understand that having got dressed in the dark for years

Today was just a bad day