'I just hate stupid people.They should have to wear signs that just say I'm stupid.That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me.. oops,Never mind. I didn't see your sign." '                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Bill Engvall

The other day, as a result of my most recent blog posts, I was threatened with legal action.

Not because my posts contain anything remotely identifiable within their prose, aside from myself, but because others could identify themselves in the anonymous examples I had given.

This is what happens when you call out others on their behaviours.

Now, don’t misunderstand me; I am not a victim in this. I have a great job and organisation that supported me in taking an employment vacation to pastures new and exciting, a job I have now returned to. I also have a few other things going on, so nothing has changed aside from the fact that I get to spend more time at home with Kelly and the boys, something I shall never see as a challenge… okay, nearly always not seen as a challenge!

The first post in this series of three was about behaviours; the second was about the effects said behaviours can have on mental health. This final post is on the lies that often surround such events and, to a lesser extent, the effects these behaviours can have on others.

I would never ask nor expect anyone to stand up and be counted, as that is something very few people feel comfortable doing. A small number of colleagues back in 2016 did so, and they suffered for it (some in small ways, others in slightly more disturbing ways), but they did what they thought was right and what they could, and, for that, I was and will forever be grateful… I dedicated a book to them on a few occasions for that very reason – I couldn’t make it up to them, but their support and friendship would live on in-perpetuity in the text of some of my books. 

I am not the only person to have been exposed to the behaviours I mentioned previously. Indeed, I summarised these behaviours; there were many more occasions. However, you only need a few to get the gist.

Other people I know and know of have been upset to the point of tears and belittled frequently, all in the name of making money and saving face.

I was advised I had to be ‘let go’ from a former position due to my being ‘too deferential and indecisive.’ I was also told I was not suited to working in ‘high pressure’ situations and businesses. I was also advised this had been raised across three separate positions.

Now, there are two ways to look at this.

1) I was ‘deferential and indecisive’ (since when is being respectful a negative quality?) across three separate positions and wasn’t suited to working in a high-pressure occupation. I was never made aware of this until I was fired. That reads as, my employer had been provided with information and evidence (neither of which exist, I shall wager) on such indecisiveness, but did nothing about it, neither to allow me to correct my behaviour, nor to save others money and time by keeping such an albatross employed… for nearly a year. That, to me, sounds like bad management and crap employer support. They just let someone carry on, despite being a less-than-effective employee… for nearly a year!

2) They are lying.

Let’s take the first possibility.

I have been told, shown, and had it reported that, at no point during my tenure, were any claims made about my being indecisive. Though CD and I had personal issues, professionally there were none. This was reported as such to my second boss in my second position (remember I was moved) and I was advised that from an IPC perspective, others engaged well with me, got on with me and that I was doing a good job.

Personally, my manager didn't like me.

Professionally, they did, or at least magnanimously acknowledged I had a rough idea of what I was doing.

The same goes for me the other way around too.

Actually, I think in their day job, as it were, pre-COVID, they were probably pretty awesome.

 

It was claimed that boss number 2 had also stated, on numerous occasions, that I was deferential and indecisive. Boss number 2 told me personally that they had a) never said any such thing and b) had only spoken to my employer on two occasions about myself, and neither occasion had to do with my indecisiveness (one was my being off my game initially, which I owned up to then and did so in this series of posts). 

This was right at the beginning of my time with Boss 2 - everything subsequent was great.

Prior to my being moved from position three (I was supposed to be moved into this one, in case you are thinking, “He got moved how many times?!), I had attended the few meetings that had taken place with an invitation for me, had visited from the North to attend meetings that only lasted twenty minutes, and had been present on the two occasions my presence was requested specifically. The second of these coincided with my joining this position full time, given work was growing ever busier.

 

I was there for a week, full time, as requested, before I was told by a second party (or third party) that I was not to return due to my being deferential and indecisive.

To be indecisive, there must be decisions presented to you that you take too long deciding on.

There were exactly zero.

In fact, I even travelled down with a day's notice at the production manager's request, 24 hours after Kelly had returned from abroad following surgery. This was with her blessing, of course, and the manager asked me if it was okay and if Kelly was okay, but still, my role meant that much to me that I went down to support them in such circumstances.

I have evidence of the few times my opinion had been sought and the timeliness of the responses. Some of these were over a weekend and the responses were still pretty good.

Yet apparently, I’m indecisive.

Of course, the business didn’t have the decency to tell me this themselves, so they got my employers to pass on the information.

 

I messaged said business and said that I thought we had had a good relationship (they had told me as much) and that it would have been appreciated to tell me in person that I wasn’t doing… whatever it was that I didn’t know I was supposed to be doing.

 

Whilst there, I would always ask if there was ever anything else I could help with, but always got the same response of, “We’ll let you know.”

 

The whole of the above just doesn’t ring true or, as I suggest above, it is true, and my employers were just bad at managing their staff.

 

Which brings us to number 2. 

 

They are lying.

 

This is the one which seems likely, given that the evidence suggests as much.

 

I had identified and challenged poor behaviour a few days before I was let go. The individual I had challenged and noted in the summary paper I wrote, was a big deal in his chosen career. I couldn’t help but wonder afterwards, whether my decision to challenge him and note it in the report I was tasked to write about such behaviours, wasn’t a factor in the decision to fire me.

Honestly, I don’t mind too much. Though it was heart-breaking at the time and remains sad to know where I had been sent to was somewhere that was a dream come true, only to be removed for the two reasons mentioned, I had Kelly and the boys to spend more time with, a lovely team of people to go back to and other employments opportunities to get stuck into.

 

I lived a personal dream for the middle section of this time, met some amazingly talented and kind people who bust their arses daily and never thought, in a million years, I would spend one day, never mind nearly a year, in this place where dreams are brought to life.

It is truly a magical world, and one I will never forget having been allow to even dip my toe into. and I got to spend two days on something that will forever be the highlight of my time there. And something I will be wetting myself with excitement when I watch it tomorrow!

 

Despite my disappointment in my employers, one of them was a nice person and, I think, tried to bring balance to his rude, ignorant and bullying counterpart. 

I will miss him, as he tried to be kind and supportive. 

The other individuals who work within the same profession in this place of work are lovely, knowledgeable, and humble professionals who deserved to be treated better than they are, both by their primary and, in some cases, secondary employer.

 

On a final note, I would like to say this if you will indulge me.

 

Military individuals, firemen and women, police officers, bodyguards, security officers… so many others have careers and jobs that are the definition of a ‘high pressure’ profession. Heroes all.

Nurses also live in this world. It is relative and individual, but I know so many medical health professionals who experience ‘high pressure’ situations on a regular basis. 

 

Not as stressful as being shot at, being under fire, protecting comrades, putting out and entering fire-engulfed buildings, chasing armed suspects and so on, but stressful in its own right.

 

I have worked in Libya, in a hospital, whilst the country and infrastructure around it were going to shit. Armed guards with AK-47’s outside your room, secret police everywhere, waiting for an utterance of the name Gadhafi (a jailable offence at that time; you had to call him The Leader).

I have worked alongside inspiring colleagues in the medical profession during the Ebola crisis, having to be prepared to care for suspected Ebola cases, of which we had a few. The realisation that, if your donning and doffing of PPE were not ‘Jonny on the Spot’ on the day when those patients are admitted and you are called to be involved in their care, you would die a horrible, painful death, with no cure, if not caught within a few days.

 

I have, alongside my wife and so many other former colleagues, being on top of the trolley whilst the patient is being rushed to theatre from the ward, hands on their groin as their graft has blown and arterial blood is going everywhere and they will die if you release pressure, even for a second. 

When you tell me I am not equipped to deal with ‘high pressure’ situations, production, industry and/or occasions, I will say this.

Where you work, what you do, is nothing like a ‘high pressure’ situation compared to all the above I have mentioned, from the military to my own.

 

So, kindly get fucked.

 

Or, as Bill Engvall puts it...