The doctored heading is mine, but who better to write this post than my husband of more than forty years? In his own words, for one night only, (drum roll) it’s over to Peter Shannon.

When Maureen woke me at three in the morning and said, ‘Peter, I need help,’ I knew, instinctively, that our lives had changed forever.

Realising that Maureen had had a stroke was possibly as much a shock to me as it was to her. [It wasn’t. Ed.] Trying to work out what all the implications were had my mind in a spin. I remember sitting in the ambulance outside A&E thinking, foolishly, that maybe we’d be back home that night.

Our daughter was amazing during this early period. She helped me to get through that first day and, boy, I needed all the help I could get. She didn’t get back from work until after midnight, but despite the exhaustion I waited up so we could have a big hug and a chance to talk about all that had happened.

I can’t help but be thankful to all the people initially involved – the paramedics and hospital staff were incredibly kind, informative and caring. They made such a difference to me as I was trying to come to terms with our new reality.

Looking back, I wonder could, and should, I have been more aware of what was happening. Maureen hadn’t previously shown any of the most common indications of a stroke. The FAST acronym (Face, Arms, Speech, Time) is a useful guide but women can present with different symptoms. The truth is I have no idea, but I can’t help feeling that somehow I failed. [You didn’t. Ed.]

Given how many people suffer from a stroke or brain attack, as Maureen quite rightly calls it, I would urge everyone to familiarise themselves with these signs. Check out the Stroke Association website: https://www.stroke.org.uk

How do you cope with such an unexpected and frightening event? I don’t imagine many people would even think about it until it happens. At first, I was thinking ok, it’s going to take three months or so before things get back to normal. I could cope with that. I know Maureen felt the same. Both our expectations were unrealistic as Maureen has described. Coming to terms with the idea that Maureen’s recovery was going to be a long and ill-defined process was hard to start with but eventually we just had to get on with it.

So, it was a case of taking one step at a time, sometimes small steps and at others a giant leap. Like the first time we went away not that many weeks after Maureen came home from hospital. We went to Manchester to see Jake Bugg and it was wonderful to be able to share and enjoy such a ‘normal’ time together. Since then, we ‘ve enjoyed many trips and gigs and though the logistics can be challenging they’re worth it.

I know I said my life had changed and it has, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Everything that life chucks at you can be seen either as a pain or an opportunity, so make the most of it.

My experience of being Maureen’s carer has taught me a few valuable lessons. You should try never to let the person you’re caring for feel as if they’re hard work, [I am. Ed.] try to anticipate what they want and need and always go big on encouragement, it can make such a difference.

Fortunately, I can cook and do household stuff but if you can’t, there are other ways to get support; family and friends would be a first call but there will be more resources locally. Once again, the Stroke Association website is packed with information.

How does it feel to be a carer? Tricky one. It’s not easy seeing someone you love having to endure the impact and indignities that a brain attack makes on a body. Be prepared for the long haul, recovery is a complicated drawn-out process. But it happens, I’ve witnessed the gains and losses, the highs and lows. Be patient but also be aware you may need support yourself.

I’ve just arrived home from a few days away walking on Dartmoor, a much-needed break, but surprisingly I was looking forward to getting back and picking up the reins again.

In sickness and in health, for better and worse.  

I must add, Peter’s been a star throughout the last year or so. I genuiney couldn’t have managed without him. His name’s from the Greek word, Petros, and he certainly lives up to it. Peter has been and still is my rock.

Next on the blog will be the 6th and final part in this series: A WORK-IN-PROGRESS