“I found a typo in your book!”

If you sent me an email with that message and nothing more (except the description of the typo), how should I interpret your tone?

Even if I don’t know you, I’ll probably read it as being helpful and feel grateful. I’d certainly thank you.

If you caught me feeling particularly tired or stressed, I might read it as hypercritical or judgmental. If you were my long-time nemesis, I might think you’re gloating.

Same words, different reactions. (And, I don’t have a nemesis, so this is a hypothetical!)

Tone belongs to the reader

“Tone” is one of those intangible qualities of writing voice. Is your writing voice witty? Warm? Critical? Despairing? Even if you have a clear intention, the readers decide for themselves. They may bring context or baggage that you haven’t planned for.

Too often, we assume everyone “gets” our tone.

For this month’s writing exercise, we’re going to look at our writing tone from both sides. The exercise is quite simple.

Aunt Gertrude is coming to Thanksgiving! Aunt Gertrude? Is that you?

Let’s imagine that you are hosting a holiday meal. Write a short note to a friend or family member letting them know that a specific relative/friend is coming. For example, try telling your siblings that Aunt Gertrude will be there. (I don’t have an Aunt Gertrude, so I won’t get in trouble.)

Write the note in what feels like a cheerful tone. “Great! Aunt Gertrude is coming!” It doesn’t have to be long—don’t put more thought into it than you would a usual email to a close friend or family member.

Now, imagine for a moment that your friend or family member has a difficult history with Aunt Gertrude—and they assume you do as well. If you read your words aloud in a sarcastic tone, does it make sense? “Great. Aunt Gertrude is coming.”

How easy is it to shift the tone? How would you need to rewrite to prevent misinterpretation?

Why this matters

In today’s divided world, readers may bring contexts or assumptions that you don’t anticipate. For certain loaded subjects, if you don’t take the time to make your tone explicitly clear, readers supply their own. Carelessness with tone can deepen division.

Perhaps you’re aiming for ambiguity. (Maybe Aunt Gertrude is a divisive figure in the family and you’re trying to play it safe or appease both sides.) Ambiguity brings risks. People might assume you’re on their side, or against them.

Related reading

For more about the implicit context and shared knowledge, check out Steven Pinker’s new book When Everyone Knows That Everyone Knows. It’s a fascinating look at what we think about what other people think.

One of my most popular posts ever (according to Google) is this one on How to Talk about Tone, Style, and Voice in Writing. See what you think.

Want to watch this exercise as a video (and hear my tone of voice in person?) Watch it on YouTube, or below.

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