Driving home from the airport yesterday morning after dropping off a friend, an amusing thought crossed my mind: what if I actually calculated my billable hours for the past week? Since retiring, I've noticed that friends and family have come to see me as their go-to problem solver whenever something needs doing. The assumption seems to be that old Mark just sits around doing nothing while everyone else is busy being productive.

Let me walk you through my week. I took a friend's daughter to the hospital for her 20-week pregnancy scan and spent the appointment in the waiting room entertaining her two-year-old. I collected another friend's car and drove it across town to get its mandatory annual safety inspection. And as I mentioned, there was that airport run yesterday morning.

But let's really examine my billable hours. On Friday afternoon, I ran a two-hour pickleball clinic for 16 seniors who wanted to learn the sport. I taught them the rules, covered playing tactics, organized practice games between participants, and walked them through proper court safety and age-appropriate warm-up routines. That's got to be worth a few billable hours, surely.

Now, I'll give myself a free pass on the three days I spent ferrying my grandkids to and from school. Billing for that would be pushing things a bit far.

By my rough calculation, that's at least $400 to $500 worth of services I've provided for free this week. It just goes to show how much society benefits from the goodwill of us retired folks who are supposedly standing around doing nothing all week.

I wonder what job title I should give myself? needs to be something fancy to justify my wages: Community Logistics & Wellness Coordinator sounds about right, I'm feeling very important now, I might get myself some new business cards printed up.

Just saying 😉

Billing Period:,"November 17 – November 23, 2025"

Billed To:,"The Community (Friends, Family, and Society at Large)"

Consultant:,Mark

Title:,Community Logistics & Wellness Coordinator

Services Provided This Week

Monday

Hospital Caregiving & Support: Providing childcare/entertainment during friend's daughter's 20-week scan (Waiting Room Attendant / Child Supervisor)

1.5 hours @ $50/hour = $75.00

Wednesday

Automotive Fleet Management: Collecting, driving, and coordinating mandatory annual safety inspection (Logistics & Transport Specialist)

1 hour @ $65/hour = $65.00

Friday

Professional Athletic Instruction: Developing and delivering two-hour Pickleball Clinic (Certified Wellness & Sports Instructor)

2 hours @ $100/hour = $200.00

Saturday

Executive Travel Coordination: Early morning airport drop-off (Dedicated Chauffeur/Logistics Specialist, including premium for early hour service)

1.5 hours @ $75/hour = $112.50

Complimentary Services

Pro Bono Publico Deduction: Family Transport Services (Grandkids school runs x 3 days) = $0.00

Total Hours Billed: 6 hours

Total Amount Due: $452.50

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