Guest Post by Anonymous

Tears streamed down my face as I listened to Ariana Grande sing Glinda’s song “The Girl in the Bubble.” Wicked has been bringing up a lot of emotions for me lately. There are many themes that I related to last year when part one came out, such as unrequited love, perfectionism, and challenging the idea of institutional infallibility that Elphaba struggled with in school.

This year, the feelings were different. As much as I can see parallels to my life story and Elphaba’s struggles, Glinda’s story really resonated with me last night in the theater. At first, she really believes that the institution can be fixed. That it’s doing better. That it will change if left to its own devices. She then begins to realize the sacrifices that are being made by those she truly cares about as they are made out to be scapegoats. She sees how truly expendable everyone is to the Wizard and Madame Morrible.

I saw her struggle to stay or go, to try to change Oz from the inside or abandon it altogether. All her life she has dreamed of being loved and magical. And she finally is. But it is nothing like she could’ve ever imagined.

There’s that beautiful girl

With a beautiful life

Such a beautiful life built on lies

 

‘Cause all that’s required

To live in a dream

Is endlessly closing your eyes

…

Ah, but the truth has a way

Of seeping on in

Beneath the surface and sheen

And blind as you try to be

Eventually

It’s hard to unsee what you’ve seen

 

And so that beautiful girl

With a beautiful life

Has a question that haunts her somehow

If she comes down from the sky

Gives the real world a try

Who in the world is she now?

 

And though so much of her wishes

That she could float on

And the beautiful lies never stop

For the girl in the bubble

The pink shiny bubble

It’s time for her bubble to pop

 

For so long, I was the girl in the bubble. I memorized the articles of faith, went to the temple regularly, served a mission, went to church every single week without fail, fulfilled my callings, prayed with her whole heart. But I couldn’t close my eyes to the lies anymore.

Right now, I feel like Glinda. Trapped, used, scared, resentful. Coming down from the sky and wondering who in the world I am has been one of the most difficult things.

Leaving the church takes so many different people on so many different paths. Some people can be like Elphaba, leaving and using their voices to spark change. But there are so many Glindas out there, trapped between living authentically and losing the life that they love.

So although my bubble has popped, I’m still living in Oz, and probably always will. But I have hope that just as Glinda was able to make real change in Oz, there can continue to be real change in the church and it can continue to be made better for all those involved. And this will unfortunately always be built off of the sacrifices of the Elphabas of the world who are shunned, excommunicated, and forced into exile for standing up for their beliefs. So now while I have no more faith in the organizational church, I believe in the good of its members, past and present, and the change that they can make.