The post’s content is diverse, varied, and potentially uncomfortable. There are some discordant notes and some resolution. I needed to piece it all together like a mosaic and hope for the best.

So, here goes…

And please let your theological SWAT team rest while reading this.

I’ve seen bloggers do what I’m doing: they post for a while, then stop because they lose momentum and the drive to sustain it. However, I can’t stay away.

For whatever reason, I’m the type of person who feels the need to capture my thoughts on the pages of the blogs I have had over the years or record them in the stacks of journals I have around my house.

Writing is therapeutic for me. The act of typing or writing is tactile. The sense of touch makes me feel like I’m sculpting something with my hands and my mind, and it’s the same when I write lyrics for songs I make with AI-generated music on my YouTube channel. It connects my soul to the physical world. I’ve noticed that ideas born of contemplation can vanish like dreams we don’t remember by mid-morning. I like to capture those ideas before they disappear.

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When I share my thoughts publicly, it can be for various reasons. I might aim to make you laugh, provoke thought, or foster a sense of unity around a subject, such as a current event.

Sometimes it feels prophetic, not in predicting the Day of the Lord, but in inspiring people about something I believe is essential. This can lead to various reactions: some may feel anger towards me, be distressed by my words, call me an idiot or a heretic, or simply ignore me, viewing me as a tempest in a teapot. The range of responses is quite broad.

Some time ago, I stirred up quite a bit of controversy by criticizing Calvinism. As a result, I lost subscribers and my view count significantly dropped. I hadn’t realized that some of my subscribers identified as Calvinists. This situation discouraged me not only because of the loss of followers but also due to the fact that some of them seemed to be offended by my negative remarks about Calvinism. In other words, they subscribed because they believed in it or something similar. Losing subscribers felt like a double blow.

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Since then, I’ve posted infrequently. I’ve been quieter, not because I’ve run out of things to say, but because I’ve uncovered more negative aspects of the Reformation as a whole. I don’t know where to begin. I realized the TULIP was pretty much the tumorous manifestation of a deeper devil.

Our primary focus should not be on what the Bible doesn’t say, i.e., it’s not Calvinism, or Arminianism, or Molinism, etc., but what the Bible does say. And that’s what I started thinking about. I wanted to be more positive. So, I reread the whole Bible and did micro-studies on almost every page. I added weight to my Bible with more ink and highlighter from December 2024 to July 2025.

And, I am sorry-not-sorry to say I’m only going to become more irritating if you cling to some core doctrines of the Reformation.

I’ve been hesitant to return and write here because my core purpose isn’t to provoke people; often, that seems like a needless consequence. My goal is to help others gain a deeper understanding of the Scriptures. Doctrinal presuppositions can create obstacles to more rational and realistic responses. It’s not just about the doctrines I find questionable, which can create issues for thoughtful individuals, but also about helping Christians remain steadfast in their faith and avoid the wandering I experienced at 28. It caused me to shipwreck my spiritual life for decades. And, I was missing in action for my family and my daughter.

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Writing about fundamental questions, such as but not limited to “How can a good God allow so much suffering in the world?” or “Why did God wipe out the nations of Canaan?” is a call I feel deeply now. The questions have answers. It’s not like Christians should be surprised by these questions. Our ancestors have been answering them for centuries, and yet the average Christian can’t answer them.

Relying on Catholicism, Calvinism, Molinism, whatever-ism, will not solve these questions. A few Different types of examples are:

When a couple asks a hardcore Calvinist pastor if their stillborn baby went to hell, the pastor answers them by saying it depends on whether the child was elect or not, causing many Christians to turn away from Christianity instead of Calvinism.

In the skeptical/atheist world, one of the supposed gotcha questions is “So, you believe in a talking snake?” I have an excellent explanation for this, but not today.

In the esoteric world, there are Christians who report to their pastor that aliens have abducted them, or they had a near-death experience, and they need to talk about it. Instead, the pastor says (sorry if I poison the well a bit), “I’m sorry. Them aliens ain’t in my King James Bible,” or, “My ESV Bible says it is appointed once for a man to die.” Instead of helping them address their concerns, the pastor refers them to a psychiatrist. Long story short, they end up in the New Age movement with crystals and pyramids hanging over their beds at night.

These are sincere topics and concerns for many people worldwide. Not all pastors neglect the questions about God, aliens, and NDEs. But a lot are taken aback by them.

These and other topics are worthy subjects to dive into instead of scratching the surface and giving flippant answers, and I have sat on my hands for too long. I need to write. And this post is me giving myself permission to return and post. If I offend you, I’m not really sorry. If I help you, great. That is my goal. But I must warn you. I’m going to say things that will rattle your classical view taught by the so-called “great” preachers and theologians. I’m not alone in this. There are preachers, theologians, and people like me who agree.

I will be very blunt. How can my God allow unspeakable evil if He is omnipotent and good? Classical theologians teach that God basically has either exhaustive foreknowledge of the future, because He preordained it all anyway, or He possesses a “crystal ball” through which He peers into the future and decides not to do anything. Also, that God is outside of time. So, if He is outside of time, then why doesn’t He move down the line and prevent history’s great horrors? I’ve been contemplating these issues for a while. If this is true, then I believe it maligns the character of God. Honestly, it sounds more like the character of Satan. But I was only taught the view above. So I was going around and around in circles.

In closing, the event that accelerated this train of thought was the assassination of Charlie Kirk. I don’t think God was necessarily surprised by the depth of human evil, but I also don’t think God foreordained it. Nor do I believe this world was a world God chose from several options He imagined, and that Kirk’s fate, my fate, and your fate were set in stone before creation.

I was already mostly there, but I finally reached a place that dissolved the above issues and kept my God’s character intact. No theological point of view can survive reality unscathed, but I believe my view is the most plausible and the most biblical. This is my theodicy, the philosophical and theological attempt to reconcile the existence of evil and suffering with the belief in an all-good, all-powerful God.

Thank you for reading my Substack, and remember Proverbs 25:2

Here are three of the songs from my YouTube channel I alluded to earlier. It simply asks questions:

The longing to return and stay. Think prodigal son.

The satisfaction deep in the soul when the Truth is finally embraced.