Has someone ever made you mad?

That’s a trick question.

No one makes you mad. You become mad in reaction to someone or something.

It sounds small, but language matters.

If other people can “make” us feel something, they have power over us.

It shouldn’t work that way.

Outperformers put space between a stimulus and a response.

Whether it’s frustrating person, stressful moment, bad break, or unexpected setback, they don’t impulsively react.

They intentionally respond.

In today’s increasingly reactive world, this ability is a superpower.

So how do you do it?

First:

Pause.

Breathe.

Wait.

Sit with it, if only for a moment.

Honestly, that alone puts you ahead of most people.

But if you want the ultimate advantage, you must do something else important. It’s a step most people miss:

It’s called affect labeling.

In performance psychology, there’s buckets of research showing that specifically labeling our emotions helps us regulate them more effectively.

The more precise the label, the better.

In other words:

Livid or furious > mad.

Uneasy or jittery > anxious.

Disappointed or hopeless > sad.

At first glance, you might think this labeling is unnecessary, psychological babble.

But research suggests the opposite.

When people feel emotions without identifying them clearly, those emotions often intensify.

Which leaves us at a fork in the road:

We can try to suppress emotions. Pretend they aren’t there.

Or…

We can pause, acknowledge them, label them, take back the power, and plan our response.

Doesn’t that sound like the better path to take?

Keep Outperforming,