A lot of my childhood idols are gone now. With some, like Prince, the influence on my life was obvious. With others, like Dolly, it was less apparent. There were never many Dolly Parton albums in my record collection. I’m not sure I ever had a poster of her on my wall.

And yet she was a constant. On TV, on the radio, on video and cassette tape. The big-hair, big-eyes, big-smile kind of beauty that seemed omnipresent in the late ’70s. The instantly recognisable voice. The lyrics that kept you listening again and again.

Then, if she ever started to slip from consciousness, she would be back again. Not just with another tour or greatest-hits album, or her Dollywood theme park, but also with her children’s books and literacy programs, and her unwavering support for LGBTQ+ rights and marriage equality. More recently, there was a Netflix series based on the stories in her songs, and later this year a Broadway musical based on her life story will premiere.

Your Smile Is Like A Breath Of Spring

Too often in life, we hope that our good work will be noticed. But Dolly Parton embodied the wisdom that we can quickly get comfortable with being looked at, or we will have to accept people looking past us. She manufactured a way of presenting herself to the world. Call it artistry or call it a personal brand: there was a magnetic quality to everything she did.

All of this rested on a foundation of talent. She was a wonderful songwriter. And a compelling singer. I tried to get one of my teenage covers bands to do a version of 9 to 5. I tried to explain how the song had such a great groove. It was guaranteed to get people dancing. The band laughed. They thought Dolly was uncool and started singing a mocking version of Islands in the Stream.

None of us in that band went on to have music careers. Across the world, people will listen again to Dolly’s music today and over the coming weeks.

A Cup of Ambition

I saw Dolly Parton in 9 to 5 when I was still a kid. I don’t remember exactly when. But it was a video rental. Maybe in early high school. Long before I knew what workplaces were like. The way the women were treated seemed weird and harsh and unfair. Their demands for respect, fairness and credit for their work seemed so obviously just. I asked my mother about this, and she said that workplaces were hard for women and that one day I would see for myself.

A decade later, I was living 9 to 5 myself. It was the nineties, and strippers came into the office to help “celebrate” birthdays. Bullying and harassment were commonplace. Women clearly had to work harder and wait longer for promotions. Men didn’t seem to notice or care. They were often too busy “ranking” the younger female staff. I needed the money, and the money was good. But that wasn’t enough.

I Was Rich As I Could Be

A lot of my youth was spent in homemade clothes. I was a latchkey kid. At various times, both my parents held down multiple jobs. Scan the music of that time – blues, soul and early rap, as well as the kind of country Dolly sang – and there are perspectives on poverty everywhere.

Poverty makes you hungry. For money and safety and comfort, yes. But also for respect. Especially if the experience of poverty is laced with prejudice.

Dolly Parton commanded attention, but she also commanded respect. She didn’t just make money. She knew how to give it away. She was in the room when the important decisions about her career were made.

Dolly was hugely famous but also quite private. Her integrity allowed her influence over the narrative of her life.

She was wealthy in a way that is only possible for people who are surrounded by those they love and who make the lives of others better through their efforts. And she leaves us a role model for how to face a world where we have no choice about being surveilled and filmed, are increasingly unable to go offline, and are seldom able to cling to our privacy and dignity.

How Can We be Wrong?

I don’t regret a second I spent listening to Dolly’s music, watching her on screen, or catching an interview with her. She was a joy to behold and a perennially life-affirming example of how to live.

I’ve had seasons in my life when it felt like there weren’t many people around me who wanted me to feel OK about myself. I guess we all go through something similar. Maybe that’s why Dolly Parton’s fandom was such a broad tent, embracing an extraordinary diversity of people. Society should be like that. We’re all different, and yet we all share a love of being here.

Dolly showed us what it takes to make that a reality.

Find out who you are and do it on purpose.
– Dolly Parton

Smart and sassy, ambitious yet humble, authentic yet image-conscious, fun and hardworking, rich and generous, particular and universal, Dolly Parton was a one-of-a-kind, self-made icon. Maybe her passing marks the end of an era. Or maybe – and I hope this is true – her legacy will inspire people to believe in themselves, let their light shine, and make the world better for those around them.

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