They say, “Time flies when you’re having fun.” Even cooler, we can practice: “Time flows when you practice softness.”

I’m writing from Metzingen, Germany, where I’m staying in the apartment connected to Yolie, our Strala partner studio. My longtime friend and Strala Guide Anna Rampf created this place. As Anna said years ago, when we were first building together, we don’t have to build community. Community reveals itself.

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Last night I wandered across the hall to a Strala class. I didn’t even have to put my shoes on. It was led by Sarah, a wonderful Guide I’d never met before, who trained with Anna and Julia. Anna and Julia now lead Strala trainings here in Germany, and Sarah guided us through an incredible class in their beautiful studio, a hub of ease and softness for everyone around it.

I have to tell you how incredible that feels to me. Strala is a way of practicing yoga that focuses on moving well, breath-body connection, and noticing how you feel, based on the foundations of tai chi. I co-created it with Mike, though I started out on my own, stomping around NYC and feeling frustrated by the dogma and rigidity I found in the yoga scene. Why wasn’t there an easier-going place, without all the drama, where I could bring my friends?

I know now that this is how so many stories begin. When you don’t see something in the world and you feel it should be here, you start putting it into the world yourself. We were lucky that so many other people felt the same way. Now we have a healthy, global community that continues to grow and support each other.

I’ll never get over the feeling of meeting someone who practiced Strala with me online or in person years ago, perhaps when they were in high school or college, and hearing what they’re doing now. Sometimes they tell me the practice helped them stay centered and connected to themselves through everything life has brought. Sometimes I meet someone like Sarah, who learned from Guides I’ve known for years and is now sharing the practice in her own way. Community keeps revealing itself.

After class, my I was so relaxed. I shuffled back across the hall to the apartment in this new building, pink as a flamingo on the outside, with sunset views over the angled rooftops of houses and independent shops. Metzingen feels like a small town you can settle into. I fell asleep hard and woke at seven to church bells.

I feel looked after in this life, by whatever angels, helpers, or universe you want to call it. And I feel that support more deeply when I look after myself continually, then use the energy I have to do some good in the world.

It still amazes me that my particular way of doing good has traveled so far. Mike, our Guides, teachers, and I have had chances to chase shiny opportunities and grow Strala faster. I’m grateful we’ve given ourselves room to grow organically, to learn and change, to work with partners only when they are meaningful, support our families, and to enjoy the communities revealing themselves along the way. We’re still at the beginning of what we can do together.

I came here from Amsterdam, where I led our classic two-day Strala workshop. Strala has been around since 2008, so many of the Guides who came had stories to share. Some have been leading yoga for a few years, others for more than ten. What stays with me most is hearing how practicing softness helps them through life. We learn through each other’s stories how to relate a little better, and through our differences, we discover how much we have in common.

The workshop’s theme was Living Softly, based on my new book coming in March. We practiced softness in our own bodies, in leading yoga and Softness Breaks, and in caring for ourselves while caring for others. That last part can be hard to imagine. We’re used to speaking about care in the language of stress, sacrifice, and endurance. We thank people for their service. We tell parents, caregivers, nurses, and teachers how hard it must be. Often it is hard. But what if our care could improve when we stay connected to ourselves within it?

Tai chi gives us a way to practice. Become movable so your breath, your ideas, and other people can move you. Move from your center and let the rest of you come along, like a tree swaying in the breeze. Notice how you feel, what’s going on with the person you’re caring for, and what’s happening around you. When tension collects, feel your feet, let your breath move you, and begin again.

This is continual self-care. It’s especially useful when life is challenging. The practice is simple, though it takes practice: notice when your shoulders creep toward your ears, when you’re holding your breath, when you’ve begun to brace yourself against the next thing. That moment of noticing gives you a chance to choose softness again.

Here’s a Softness Break you can try with something as simple as drinking a glass of water. Notice your shoulders. Let them rest. Bring your middle toward the glass as you pick it up, then bring your middle back with you. Use the energy you need and rest what you don’t. Take a sip and feel how you’re doing.

If you can connect well with a glass of water, you can practice connecting well with the world. The small moments are where we learn to stay with ourselves.

This week I’m looking forward to leading a softness workshop with the Hugo Boss team, another community Anna has helped bring together here. Then we’ll gather with more people for a Weekend of Softness with local community and anyone who wants to join us.

I love seeing what grows when we keep showing up for ourselves and each other. Like a jungle, there’s room for all of us to grow.

Stay soft,

Tara

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