It seems that the whole world now is quick to take offense or get upset at people over anything. Family members, friends, colleagues, you name it, it seems like all you have to do is look at them the wrong way and they're ready to pounce on you and take you to task over it. In other words, we are not just ready to be offended, but we are looking for it. Does this really make anyone happy? It never has and it never will. The person who caused the offense, intentional or not, doesn't feel good, and neither does the person who gets offended. But here's the real kick in the seat of the pants. We continue to do it anyway! The following is a tragic tale from India that we would all do well to always keep in mind.

In a small town in ancient India there lived a poor Brahman and his wife. They had no children, so they adopted a mongoose on whom they lavished their love. When the couple was blessed with a son, it in no way diminished their love for the mongoose, but the baby and the mongoose were treated as beloved offspring both.

One day while the Brahman had gone out to beg alms and the wife had gone to the garden to gather herbs, a poisonous serpent crept into the house and under the cradle where the baby boy was sleeping. As it rose to get into the cradle the mongoose attacked it and in a short time had killed it, saving the life of the infant. The mongoose then ran out into the garden to get the wife. However, the wife, upon seeing the excited mongoose with its blood-spattered face and claws, immediately assumed that the mongoose had killed her son. She struck the mongoose dead with the knife she had been using to cut herbs and then ran into the home to see her son. Her horror and grief were unmatched when she discovered her son alive in his cradle and the deadly serpent underneath it, cut to ribbons by the mongoose.

What had actually occurred was now evident, and when the Brahman returned home the wife told him what had happened and, in her grief, slew herself. The Brahman, now equally grieved at the death of his wife and the beloved mongoose, slew first his child and then himself.

While most folk and fairy tales end happily, and I try to stick to those, this one is rather important and the tragic ending is important to us, which is the only reason I use it. Sometimes we are more moved by disaster than happiness.

First, it's apparent that had the wife taken but a moment to discover the truth before acting, the tragedy would have been avoided. So it should be with us. Before flying off the handle, jumping to conclusions, acting rashly, or assuming, it behooves us to get all the facts in order first. Especially since first impressions are not always accurate.

Second, consider who it is that is the "bearer of bad news." It is seldom the case that someone who has always been faithful to us will do us a great harm, even unintentionally. Faithful friends and family (and even co-workers) usually remain that way. If we have doubts, it is prudent to investigate, but odds are that those who have been good to us in the past will be good to us in the present and future. As the saying goes, a leopard can't change his spots. That goes for "good" leopards too.

And finally, the real tragedy in this story is what is lost when we assume the worst of someone. The metaphor in this story is that we lose not just our own inner peace, but we lose a valued relationship as well. In many cases, it is a relationship that is never recovered. Perceived offense often leads to real offense, and there is very little we can do to recover from that. As with most things, the best "cure" for a damaged relationship is to prevent it. And often that means giving the benefit of the doubt.

Have a question, problem, thought, or just a comment? Want to know what fairy tales say about some other topic? Send it to me and I'll post it here!