I’ve been thinking a lot about it. About who I am. I’ve been thinking about it a lot because it seems I may not be what some people expect me to be, or maybe even want me to be lately.

Don’t let the 40+ hour a week factory job fool you. That is not who I am. Not completely. But, when you spend that much time a week doing something, I think people begin to form a picture in their mind. They do it from the moment they meet you by asking what you do for a living. They keep doing it by asking how the job is going every time they see you. Now don’t get me wrong; I’m glad I have a decent paying job, I really I am. Those bills, they gotta get paid.

But I have discovered something over the past few years. I want more. I want to be more than the chick who runs the paint line.

Enter my five horses, four dogs and flock of chickens. They are a fun bonus which rounds me out. They add character (and everyone can use a little more of that, am I right?). It would be boring around here without them. They are not what I do, though. They are not who I am, either. They are my kids and give me some real fun stories to tell people though! And some real cute pics to post on Facebook. I love every single one of them with all my heart.

Okay, now enter my family. They do define who I am, to a certain extent. My mother, father, step-mother, step-father, in-laws, brother…. you get the picture. Some of these people I am related to by blood (and boy can you tell).  Some of them raised me. They helped mold me into the person I am today… you can stop cringing over there now, mom. I didn’t turn out to be an axe murderer, so that points in your favor:) Just kidding. I know you’re proud of me for what I am doing and I love you so much for it!

And, of course, my husband. He is, and has been since the day I met him, a big part of who I am. I have made some pretty heavy decisions both with him and because of him. I love him and he is part of me. He is part of who I am. He is my friend, my lover, and my confidant. But he is not all of who I am, and he shouldn’t be. There is still more to me.

I’ve discovered another part of me over the last few years. Or should I say, I have rediscovered that part of me.

I am a writer. And I absolutely LOVE it. Writing at times consumes me. The story is all I can think about and I can’t wait to get back to it. The characters move around in my head, striving for my attention because they have places to go, things to do, damnit! And I want to get them there! It makes me feel alive to have such passion for something like that again (surprise, surprise, the factory job doesn’t do it for me).

I am determined to keep feeling that passion. I know for some people in my life, my latest discovery has thrown them for a loop. They feel I’ve become obsessed with the writing. I have to ask this; if you found something you were so passionate about, something you loved to do as much as I love writing, wouldn’t you do it? Wouldn’t you sacrifice time now in order to make something bigger of it later? Wouldn’t you at least take a shot at it? Well, I am. I’m not gonna just lay down and give up. I want this. I want to write books for a living. I do not want to work in the factory for the rest of my life to make ends meet. I want to be one of those fortunate few who makes a living by doing what they LOVE. And guess what? I’m gonna go for it!

As always,

Live! Love! Read! (and in my case: Write!)