I cannot pretend that I do not feel,

that the sting of your hatefulness does not hurt

I cannot pretend that I do not hope

or rather wish that somehow, something were different

I cannot say that I don’t envy

I envy family I have never had

I cannot say that I won’t wish

that one day, somehow you will change

I cannot say that your indifference and callousness does not
send my emotions on a familiar rollercoaster,

or that the life you want for me is anything I could ever
embrace

I cannot and will not say you have ever won

or that I will bow under your oppression

I cannot say that I don’t love

you, my family

I will not say that that love translates into something I deserve
to be ostracized for

nor will I allow your abuse to continue

I will not ever stop pushing forward

toward the life I want to live

and I will not and cannot submit to your bullshit,

your hopes for my failure fall on my less than deaf ears,

but my will to survive you continues still.

I will not ever claim perfection,

but I will always say that I rose above the ashes you
destined me.

And forever more, I will persevere, I will push on and
continue to prove,

I am not my circumstance.

UKVos

12/21/2012