I think I could start a lucrative business consulting to men on how to properly approach and pick up a woman. I have been on the receiving end of varied attempts ranging from laughable, to laughably sad to sadly psychotic. The one I will share skews on the laughably psychotic side.

A man ran up to me on the street one day, exclaiming how much he loves my hair. We will call him Federico.

“Bella, I’m a hairstylist,” he said, assuming this gave him permission to stroke my hair. He insisted that I be in his next hair show and that we exchange numbers. At this point I’m convinced he’s the next hairstylist superstar and not heterosexual. I was mistaken.

Federico incessantly stalked me via text and v-mail, demanding to see me, his communication void of hair shows, bellas, and flamboyant flair, if you will.

One would think it is common knowledge that attempting to pick up a woman by pretending to be a gay hairstylist and engaging in predatory stalking activity will result in failure and possible arrest.

But alas, there is a very broad market in need of help – a very broad, unstable and potentially dangerous market. Run and hide ladies, run and hide.