20 March 2013

HOW NOT TO LEARN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE
In Ten Easy Steps

Step 8. Develop coping strategies

If, in spite of yourself, you start to take in something of the language you’re trying not to learn, make sure you speak a pidgin version of it rather than the real thing.

Try and get the people you talk with to use a pidginised version, too.

This insistence on "foreigner talk" will cut down on genuine target language input and will help set your errors in stone.

Feign understanding.

Many languages have stock expressions for indicating that you understand, empathise and wish the speaker to continue uninterrupted. Develop such stock responses in order to preclude real conversation.

Try, if you must, to understand the meaning of what you hear or read, but without paying attention to its form. Understanding does not mean you can use what you understand.

Learn basic paralinguistic features of the target language. Gestures have been claimed to incorporate a whole semiotic system. Learning foreign gestures need not involve foreign language input, and indeed can greatly help you to avoid it.

Finally, use every opportunity to switch to your own language.