April, 2001

“Wait outside until I call you in.”

His face is screaming, “Dear God, please don’t tell me you have a husband to hide,” but he’d never say it out loud. He’ll do anything to forget about the fact that I used to have one of those things.

After a kiss that reassures me I’m about to get nailed nice and hard, I scurry inside the cottage to light the three thousand candles I set up a few hours ago. Then, hurriedly picking my thong out of my butt while simultaneously applying lip gloss, I g...