2 Cor 10:5

Fascinating concept isn’t it? The Apostle Paul states “and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” NIV What would that be like to take captive your every thought and make it obedient to Christ? It would be amazing, it would be life transforming. I am reminded of the famous quote, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so shall he be” ― James Allen, As a Man Thinketh There is no question that our thought life determines much of whom we are, how we relate to one another and even how we relate to God.

In my coaching sessions with individuals, we often talk about thought life. They frequently share that they have very positive thoughts toward others including their spouses, children, friends and coworkers. The interesting part is they seldom express those positive thoughts verbally. The other persons are completely unaware of how the individual thinks of them because it has been so seldom expressed verbally. In reality many people withhold positive thoughts toward others but are not nearly so hesitant to express criticisms. This creates an unhealthy balance of positive affirmations to criticisms. Research has shown that in order for a human relationship to be perceived as a positive, there must be at least six positive statements to every criticism. A five to one ratio is neutral and anything lower is considered a negative relationship.

So I ask the question, “What if we were to capture every positive thought toward others and verbalize those thoughts?” The most common response I hear is, “I would but I just don’t know how to put those thoughts into words.” And that was a contributing motivation for writing, The Language of Blessing.

As you think about each of your significant relationships in your life, how is your ratio of affirmations to criticisms? Are you in the healthy range of six up to twelve affirmations to one criticism?