Bosses vs. Leaders

July 7, 2013

In prison, inmates call the guards “boss.” Seems appropriate. After all those guards do have absolute control over the lives of their charges. When someone has the authority to determine when or if another is allowed to take a poop, that’s most certainly a boss. In prison, that level of authority is about maintaining control and safety in a highly hazardous environment among people for whom lengthy court proceedings have determined that they no longer have the right to direct their own destiny.

When I was in the Navy, I had a commanding officer who taught me something highly valuable. He said that there are two types of respect … the one you’re given because of the insignia on your collar and the other when an officer proves his or her courage, integrity and wisdom to subordinates. He believed, as do I, that the former is worth little without the later.

Lately, I have both experienced and witnessed way too many situations when someone was determined to be the “boss” when what was needed was a leader. I fear it is rampant in the working world where an employee’s worth is determined more by the portion of their time/lives that an employer “owns” rather than the quality of their work and their level of productivity. I have been amazed at the number of times I have seen valuable people fired because they questioned a “boss” who expected obedience even if the boss was interfering and micromanaging in an area outside of his or her expertise. I have learned that a tell-tale sign for a business or organization involves a history of a “revolving door” of capable employees working for a boss who believes authority means demanding absolute obedience. That demand for obedience ignores the need to make reasonable and productive decisions about the mission or goal of the business or organization. A boss dictates. A leader listens.

Some years ago, I heard a fantastic presentation by Dr. Eustice Theadore, then CEO of the national higher education association known as CASE, about society’s current transition from a culture based on control to a culture based on empowerment. He attributed this primarily to the advent of the Internet and the inability of any small group to control the information received by the larger population. He predicted also that those groups who benefitted most from a society based on control would wage a social war to protect what they perceived as their “rights,” rather like so many monarchs did when the feudal system could no longer function. In the “real world” this is especially apparent with those who were taught to believe that, as bosses, they must expect absolute obedience. Folks, as they lose control, they’re getting mean and underhanded.
As a consultant who works in the nonprofit sector, I am particularly concerned about “bosses” of charitable organizations. In the working world, a boss can get away with a great deal because their employees need a pay check and if an employee goes away, abused and dissatisfied, there’s always someone else who needs a job and will take their place. In the nonprofit sector, volunteers are there because they care about the mission of the organization. If they are bullied, belittled and abused, they go away, and these are usually the very people who can best serve that mission. The inevitable outcome of a “boss” commanding a nonprofit organization for too long is the death of that organization. According to the IRS Data Book for 2012 the number of nonprofit organization is on the decrease. Over 60,000 existing U.S. nonprofit organizations simply went away in 2012.

I guess this is a call for action because I believe the Third Sector (nonprofit) holds the greatest hope for aiding our world, our society becoming more peaceful and productive. I call for nonprofit boards and membership to both provide and demand leaders, not bosses. While this full subject may be more appropriate for a book than a blog, I offer below just a few traits to be found in a boss and those to be found in a leader.

Boss:
• Sees accountability as a one-way street with their position having authority with no responsibility to workers/members/clients.
• Consistently demands rather than asks.
• Looks for flaws in others without questioning his or her deficiencies.
• Cannot put their own emotional needs in perspective as related to the mission of the organization.
• Creates an atmosphere of fear within an organization.

Leader:
• May not seek leadership but is recognized by others as the best choice.
• Serves because of dedication to mission rather than seeking personal power.
• Whenever possible listens to all views before making a decision.
• Is able to put their emotional reactions in perspective. This does not mean they ignore their emotions but that they use them to further the mission rather than using the mission to fulfill their emotional needs.
• Is not afraid to stand up when someone else bullies or belittles another.
• Strives to practice ethical behavior both personally and professionally.
• Has empathy for others, but can make tough choices based on mission rather than trying to please everyone.
• Strives for consensus, but can take responsibility for and stand by an unpopular decision if needed.
• Others recognize them for wisdom and courage.
• Creates an atmosphere of joy and hope.

On a final note, in my opinion, the ongoing problem is less about the presence of “bosses,” and more about the willingness of people to enable those bosses. Especially in the nonprofit sector – a whole cultural segment based on the love of humanity (philanthropy) – it should be unacceptable for anyone to be belittled or bullied and yet it happens all the time. In this day and age, when we are finally recognizing the prevalence of bullying throughout our society, no one should ever have to stand alone against a bully (aka a “boss”). If you see it and say nothing, you are part of the problem.
Demand leadership … strive to be a leader. If enough people do just that, this world will change.