One of the toughest things I grappled with when I decided to go indie was letting go of the expectations I had built up inside my head. Granted, those crazy expectations slowly got knocked down during the year-long time period that I spent querying--but they were still very much there.
Here's a brief history...
When I finished my very first manuscript, I said to myself "Self, the book you wrote is f-ing awesome. You don't need to revise. Just start sending it to agents immediately." But I thought having just ONE beta reader couldn't hurt, so while I wrote one single draft of my undoubtedly amazing query letter, I sent it to one beta reader. Her reply crushed me. She ultimately said the book was good, but her list of suggestions were overwhelming. I couldn't deal.
So I started another book.


And I said to myself, "Self, THIS book is it. This is the one that agents are going to be fighting over. You will get a six-figure advance and you will never have to work a day job again." I queried that book for about six months, got quite a few full requests, but everyone ended up saying it 'just wasn't for them.' So I set it aside. Because I had another idea digging in my brain.
So I started yet another book.
I had it this time. I said to myself, "Self, THIS IS IT. FOR REAL THIS TIME. You have a goldmine. You will get an amazing agent, you will go to auction, you will get that six-figure advance, you will become a literary superstar." I queried again. I got much better results this time. But I still didn't get that six-figure deal. I didn't get to auction. Hell, I didn't even get the agents fighting over me.
What I got was a whole hell of a lot of disappointment.
I think when most of us decide to try our hands at publishing, we all have these grand illusions of what will happen. We imagine that wonderful phone call with an agent who is just begging for us to work with her. We imagine the day when our manuscript sells in a three-book deal for an ungodly amount of money. We imagine the day when we get to see our name in Publisher's Marketplace. It's what we all want. That moment of literary greatness.


But what they don't tell you is that this isn't the norm. MOST newbie authors don't experience this story. And the reason we hear about these stories so much is because they are so UN-ordinary. If you really take the time to read through some of the blogs of other debut authors, you will learn all about the realities of the business. It's not quite so pretty as we build up in our heads.
So I'm slowly learning to let go of my unrealistic expectations. Agents aren't going to fight for me. There will be no three-book deals. There will just be me, busting my ass to do what I love, all on my own.
But I've slowly been realizing that this is what it's all about. I became a writer because I wanted to share the best story I could with READERS. They are the ones who matter. 
And that's it.