Interview with author Victoria Adams
What is the title of your current book?
I published my first book, Who I Am Yesterday: A Path to Coping with a Loved One’s Dementia, in June of 2012. This was a self published adventure. The book was read by a publisher and we now plan the release of an expanded version sometime in the near future.
I am also working on a book entitled Why Me: Come Let us Reason with Job.
Can you share your message in your published book?
I would suppose that the overall message is that you have to find your own path when faced with caring for a debilitated loved one. It may not be the one I took, but whatever it is you need to feel confident that you did what was best for you and the person you are caring for.
The book started as a journal. Little bits of stuff and such that I would type in the evening, trying to sort out for myself what worked and what was a total disaster. As it started to actually take some kind of shape I shared it with a few friends and co-workers. One co-worker told me she laughed, cried, and wanted more. So, I wrote more. One person told me they would like more details about how I handled specific issues. I searched my memory and watched my days and wrote more. Nearing the anniversary of my husband’s diagnosis, I felt it was time to wrap it up and publish.
Since then I have added many things to my blog: Stories, insights, poems, and moments of reflection. My new publisher has asked me to incorporate these things into an expanded version and to include the photographs of Vancouver Island that did not make it to the first edition. The book opens during our vacation on that beautiful island; his disease took a rather drastic downward curve during that fateful week.
Please share an excerpt from your book:
When I Became Legion
As mentioned, we were staying in Nanaimo and had arrived late in the afternoon of our first day. Our room had a tiny kitchen corner so that we could save on meal costs during our stay, and was pretty centrally located for all the places we had planned to see. The weather for the rest of the week was absolutely beautiful. He seemed comfortable being with me no matter where we went, after all, I was his long lost girlfriend. At least at the moment. Ever watchful, I tried to learn to answer his questions with patience as if he had never been told before. Where were my parents? Did I have siblings? Where did I live? One night he woke up and asked whose stuff was hanging in the corner? He would stand by the shores of lakes and the Georgia Strait and tell me all about what “they” wanted him to do, in terms I no longer understood. Then he would ask me about the lady that was with him yesterday.
He had remembered that we were supposed to contact someone about his work and wondered when we would see them, and then he told me they had called. He saw them; people had come to talk to him. Didn’t I know these people? He was sure they were part of “my team.” Each day was a test. The odd thing is that I always seem to be “me” at the present moment (not his wife, just me), but even now I am never sure of Who I Am Yesterday, or even a few hours ago.
So I spent our vacation week learning, testing, watching, and hoping. But it was also a week of spending time with my beloved in the most beautiful place we had been for a long, long time. We managed to wander through that emotional minefield and actually, I believe, enjoy ourselves. Yes, I cried. Buckets. Quiet, private, buckets.
When I did leave for brief periods for those job interviews, he seemed fine when I returned. I was the one that had trouble figuring out who left and who came back. I kept hoping, though, that once I got him home something would trigger his memory. Something, anything would reach him and he might understand something of what was happening. I kept telling him I could show him these things he did not believe once we returned to Calgary. “I have pictures, I have documents, and there are people that know us. Just wait, I’ll show you.” I asked him to be patient and reassured him that we had plane tickets and that we were scheduled to return. And yes, I knew he had lots of books, no really, lots of books.
Our week in a far away land came to an end, and so it was, as I had promised him, that I took him back to Calgary where all his things were kept.
Can you share about yourself, and your background?
My basic career has been in accounting and business management. That has led me into all sorts of professional alleyways such as real estate brokerage, computer systems design, and maintenance. I guess I get bored easily. The reason I am so passionately pursuing this long buried drive to write is my husband.
What are your hobbies and interests?
I like creative types of things. I love photography, needlepoint, pottery, gardening and music. I am a voracious reader. I am rather eclectic in my selection but mostly centered in history, archaeology, anthropology, philosophy, religion and science. I also love a good fiction tale.
What inspired you to start writing and to be an author?
My husband has a Ph.D. in philosophy, as well as a couple of masters in mathematics and the sciences. He always loved reading my little dabbling and constantly nagged me to publish. I truly wish I had not waited so long that he is no longer able to understand what I am doing and why. But the man I knew still speaks in my ear as I write and re-write the thoughts and conclusions we spent so many years debating.
What is your favorite quote or phrase which motivates you?
There are so many that I hold very precious and instructional. If I had to pick only one it would be the phrase that hangs over my desk: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.” Of all the lessons I have learned in life this is the hardest: I cannot “fix” everything, everything is not my fault, and sometimes we must do the best we can and let it be.
Is there anything that you would like to share with your readers?
I shaped my little book, Who I Am, around the Desiderata. I think that for the most part I try to listen to the voice of Max Ehrmann and take pride in what I have accomplished and in the fact that I am a thinking rational being able to be amazed by the universe we live in. And yet remain humble enough to learn and share, to have the wisdom to know when I should and can be of help, and when I should turn away.
Please share the link to your book with us:
http://www.amazon.com/Who-Am-Yesterday-Coping-Dementia/dp/1475152183/
Please list your websites:
http://victoriasreadingalcove.wordpress.com/
https://www.facebook.com/readingalcove
I published my first book, Who I Am Yesterday: A Path to Coping with a Loved One’s Dementia, in June of 2012. This was a self published adventure. The book was read by a publisher and we now plan the release of an expanded version sometime in the near future.
I am also working on a book entitled Why Me: Come Let us Reason with Job.
Can you share your message in your published book?
I would suppose that the overall message is that you have to find your own path when faced with caring for a debilitated loved one. It may not be the one I took, but whatever it is you need to feel confident that you did what was best for you and the person you are caring for.
The book started as a journal. Little bits of stuff and such that I would type in the evening, trying to sort out for myself what worked and what was a total disaster. As it started to actually take some kind of shape I shared it with a few friends and co-workers. One co-worker told me she laughed, cried, and wanted more. So, I wrote more. One person told me they would like more details about how I handled specific issues. I searched my memory and watched my days and wrote more. Nearing the anniversary of my husband’s diagnosis, I felt it was time to wrap it up and publish.
Since then I have added many things to my blog: Stories, insights, poems, and moments of reflection. My new publisher has asked me to incorporate these things into an expanded version and to include the photographs of Vancouver Island that did not make it to the first edition. The book opens during our vacation on that beautiful island; his disease took a rather drastic downward curve during that fateful week.
Please share an excerpt from your book:
When I Became Legion
As mentioned, we were staying in Nanaimo and had arrived late in the afternoon of our first day. Our room had a tiny kitchen corner so that we could save on meal costs during our stay, and was pretty centrally located for all the places we had planned to see. The weather for the rest of the week was absolutely beautiful. He seemed comfortable being with me no matter where we went, after all, I was his long lost girlfriend. At least at the moment. Ever watchful, I tried to learn to answer his questions with patience as if he had never been told before. Where were my parents? Did I have siblings? Where did I live? One night he woke up and asked whose stuff was hanging in the corner? He would stand by the shores of lakes and the Georgia Strait and tell me all about what “they” wanted him to do, in terms I no longer understood. Then he would ask me about the lady that was with him yesterday.
He had remembered that we were supposed to contact someone about his work and wondered when we would see them, and then he told me they had called. He saw them; people had come to talk to him. Didn’t I know these people? He was sure they were part of “my team.” Each day was a test. The odd thing is that I always seem to be “me” at the present moment (not his wife, just me), but even now I am never sure of Who I Am Yesterday, or even a few hours ago.
So I spent our vacation week learning, testing, watching, and hoping. But it was also a week of spending time with my beloved in the most beautiful place we had been for a long, long time. We managed to wander through that emotional minefield and actually, I believe, enjoy ourselves. Yes, I cried. Buckets. Quiet, private, buckets.
When I did leave for brief periods for those job interviews, he seemed fine when I returned. I was the one that had trouble figuring out who left and who came back. I kept hoping, though, that once I got him home something would trigger his memory. Something, anything would reach him and he might understand something of what was happening. I kept telling him I could show him these things he did not believe once we returned to Calgary. “I have pictures, I have documents, and there are people that know us. Just wait, I’ll show you.” I asked him to be patient and reassured him that we had plane tickets and that we were scheduled to return. And yes, I knew he had lots of books, no really, lots of books.
Our week in a far away land came to an end, and so it was, as I had promised him, that I took him back to Calgary where all his things were kept.
Can you share about yourself, and your background?
My basic career has been in accounting and business management. That has led me into all sorts of professional alleyways such as real estate brokerage, computer systems design, and maintenance. I guess I get bored easily. The reason I am so passionately pursuing this long buried drive to write is my husband.
What are your hobbies and interests?
I like creative types of things. I love photography, needlepoint, pottery, gardening and music. I am a voracious reader. I am rather eclectic in my selection but mostly centered in history, archaeology, anthropology, philosophy, religion and science. I also love a good fiction tale.
What inspired you to start writing and to be an author?
My husband has a Ph.D. in philosophy, as well as a couple of masters in mathematics and the sciences. He always loved reading my little dabbling and constantly nagged me to publish. I truly wish I had not waited so long that he is no longer able to understand what I am doing and why. But the man I knew still speaks in my ear as I write and re-write the thoughts and conclusions we spent so many years debating.
What is your favorite quote or phrase which motivates you?
There are so many that I hold very precious and instructional. If I had to pick only one it would be the phrase that hangs over my desk: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.” Of all the lessons I have learned in life this is the hardest: I cannot “fix” everything, everything is not my fault, and sometimes we must do the best we can and let it be.
Is there anything that you would like to share with your readers?
I shaped my little book, Who I Am, around the Desiderata. I think that for the most part I try to listen to the voice of Max Ehrmann and take pride in what I have accomplished and in the fact that I am a thinking rational being able to be amazed by the universe we live in. And yet remain humble enough to learn and share, to have the wisdom to know when I should and can be of help, and when I should turn away.
Please share the link to your book with us:
http://www.amazon.com/Who-Am-Yesterday-Coping-Dementia/dp/1475152183/
Please list your websites:
http://victoriasreadingalcove.wordpress.com/
https://www.facebook.com/readingalcove
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