The Forgotten Honor Student
There is a Swahili proverb that states, “A chick that will
grow into a cock can be spotted the very day it hatches.” This particular
proverb speaks volumes about personalities and how they affect life. Some
children are born with a natural desire to succeed. Their desires do not
typically come from external stimulators, but deep within themselves. These
particular children encourage themselves when no one else does and refuse to
accept failure without analyzing the causes and remedies necessary for future
success. Parents begin to notice these characteristics as the child grows into
their character and exhibits their individuality. Over the course of toddler
and adolescence years, parents begin to expect these positive behavior and
academic traits from the child. Attending award shows, receiving positive
reports from the teacher year after year, and admiring yet another honor roll
bumper sticker becomes the norm for students and parents within this arena.
This situation does not seem to have any negative ramifications on the surface,
but the possibility lurks in the mouth, mind, and hands of parents.
The
mouth, mind, and hands of parents are vital resources for sustaining a child’s
natural desire to flourish. These entities possess the ability to enhance or
dampen the spirits of talented youth. Holding high expectations for each child
will always be a priority for parents, but acknowledging the victory associated
with each goal is a must. Although not openly admitted, children long for
recognition from their parents. Unfortunately, many parents unconsciously overlook
achievements once they become a frequent occurrence. A child that receives
outstanding grades each quarter, creates the winning entry for the physics
fair, or delivers a mind blowing speech at an oratory contest needs to be acknowledged
regardless of his or her tendency to be triumphant. At times, parents forget that children cannot
always tap into their souls and understand their inner feelings of pride. Maybe
communication is a weak point and affection feels uncomfortable to the parent,
but children do not equate silence and a lack of action as respect or love.
Thoughtlessly sidetracking a child’s moments
of success can result in catastrophic outcomes.
Emotional and mental damage can take place after continuous episodes of
unconscious disregard of the child. Children process events much differently
than adults and although parents may not think they are causing any harm, the
possibility of emotional pain is great. Children will begin to have a spiral of
thoughts that hinge upon the belief that their loved ones fail to believe in
their goals, dreams, and success. These feeling will eventually evolve into
feelings of loneliness, anger, resentment, and possibly depression. Many
children will be able to break this mentality and inwardly motivate themselves
to continue on their paths despite the emotional pain; however there are
children who respond entirely different and give up trying. Their inward desire
to achieve looses a bit of its fire during each occasion of disregard. Each
moment of disappointment allows the child to build a defensive wall of
nonchalance. The problem with indifference is that there is no passion. The
fire to achieve regardless of their ability to do so is no longer kindled and
their determination is destroyed bit by bit.
A chick will never grow into the
cock it is expected to become if it does not receive the proper nurturing from
its parents. Parents are responsible for providing a favorable environment for
development, and recognition plays a substantial role in this task. Verbal
affirmations, love, affection, rewards, and time are much needed resources for
fanning the flames that are longing to roar deep within the heart of a child.


