For me personally, and my Allies, finding the courage to open up was a huge breakthrough.
What a relief to no longer pretend to be invincible and all-knowing!
Vulnerability is about asking for help when we need it. Vulnerability is about removing the mask with those you trust. Courage is accepting help when it is offered and offering insight to others.
Richard was a young manager who quickly realized that giving tough feedback was even more important than just giving praise. He was in a leadership meeting with one hundred of his coworkers and his new manager.
The room was dark, and he noticed his boss at the back, falling asleep. Richard asked around and many of his colleagues commented, “Yes he has been doing that for years.” He decided to talk to him later that day… At first his manager denied it, but then he acknowledged the embarrassment of falling asleep. A few weeks later, the manager told Richard he’d made an appointment with a doctor and had been diagnosed with sleep apnea.
As Richard reflected on the experience, he was glad he had taken the courageous step to be an Ally to his boss. Other people had noticed and even ridiculed him for dropping off, but they had never brought it to the man’s attention, which was holding him back. Constructive, compassionate feedback is important. Being an Ally means having the courage to raise the difficult topics.
Courage moves us beyond a merely transactional relationship to one that can be transformational, whether that transformation impacts our work-life and/or our home-life.