In any interaction, we are sizing each other up and asking ourselves (consciously or subconsciously) these four questions.
The answers determine whether you, or the request you are making of me, is worth my time, interest, trust, and effort. Essentially, they determine whether or not we will have an Ally relationship.
Those four questions are:
1. Can I count on you?

. . . to volunteer, to step up, to be accountable for the results you say you will deliver? This is the reactive perspective. When I ask you to do something will you do it (or at least give honest feedback)?
2. Can I depend on you?

. . . to follow through, and deliver on what you have promised on time and with the appropriate level of quality? This is the proactive perspective. If you see a need, do you step up and handle it without being asked?
3. Do I care about you?

. . . about your intent, feelings, and emotions? Am I am able to empathize, and do we connect at a personal level?
4. Do I trust you?

. . . enough to let my guard down and reveal more of the real me?
The first two questions are transactional. Do what you say you’ll do, and you will meet expectations.
The second two questions are emotional at their root and are about interpersonal dynamics.
Without a positive answer to the third question and more importantly the fourth, you will struggle to achieve an Ally relationship with that person.
Getting to yes with the last two questions is more challenging than simply doing what you said you would do. However, this is what differentiates an acquaintance from a friend, a coworker from a trusted partner, a Supporter—or Rival—to an Ally.
(If all this sounds like Greek – pick up my book! I’ll walk you though this, and a lot more.)