A lot has changed over the last few decades with respect to our roles as males and females of the human species, and I think most of it has been great. In particular, anything that even suggests a lack of equality between men and women should be eliminated from our existence, and some of it clearly has.

However, there’s a big difference between equality and “sameness”.

Frankly, I don’t want women to be the same as men. I think all the unique characteristics about women that make them women are wonderful and amazing. They cause my heart to beat faster and bring a mesmerizing smile to my face. But if the solution to inequality is for women to change, to be more like men, then we’re definitely going about it the wrong way. Instead, we all need to be respected and treated equally for exactly who we are. Our differences should shine instead of being pushed into the shadows.

That being said, I still think there are some quasi-traditional roles men should continue to fulfill within the context of our better world, and they are the secrets to being a modern day gentleman.

Most of these stem from the underlying reality that men are built bigger and stronger than women. Why is that? So we can fulfill our innate responsibility to protect and take care of our mate (and family). And I think that’s pretty darn romantic. Has there been a genetic mutation in our species to change that? No. So let’s see how we can work it into today’s society without impacting our relationship equality.

First, men need to develop an ongoing, gentleman mindset. They should remain aware, from one situation to the next, how they can “serve and protect” their treasured mate, and in some cases women in general. For example, I am a true believer in holding hands, opening doors, helping her over dangerous terrain (especially if she’s wearing heels), walking her to her car, and instinctively positioning oneself between her and any potential source of danger at all times. This is the role of the protector, which should never suggest a level of superiority. Instead, it is seen as a responsibility and an honor.

When it comes to “serving”, the romantic in me feels a little Cary Grant is in order. I think men should make their women cocktails, bring them coffee, learn about wines (including the ones she loves) so they can make the right selection at a restaurant, give impromptu massages or foot rubs, and always take the time to do things right in bed (*wink*). I also think men should handle the unsavory jobs around the house like taking out the trash, dealing with pet accidents, and cleaning clogged drains. He should, in essence, treat his woman like a princess.

If you’re a woman reading this, and you think being a princess is denigrating in some way, just keep in mind that princesses are royalty. So what could possibly be wrong with that? Besides, you’re beautiful when you wear a tiara.

If you’re a man reading this, and you think I’ve lost my mind, you clearly haven’t experienced what you get in return for the thoughtfulness and grand efforts of being a gentleman. We all get out of relationships what we put into them, and it has been my experience that a woman will knock herself out to do wonderful things for a man who does wonderful things for her.

It’s like random acts of kindness. They’re downright contagious. And here’s wishing plenty of those to brighten your day.

Cheers!