Book One Arrives
(Written on January 3, 2014)
There are moments in your life that really stand out. The day you get married, the birth of your children, a hard fought after raise or promotion. These days and moments find a way to separate themselves from the mundane passage of other days and cement themselves in your mind as days you will never forget.
Today was one of those days for me.
I received the first paperback copies of my first book, “The Stones of Andarus”. I was not at all prepared for the emotions that ensued once I opened that box. After opening the box and removing the packing material, there it was. Book One of The Devenshire Chronicles, “The Stones of Andarus”… by Tom Sechrist! I don’t know how long I simply stood there, gazing down into that box and the first copy of my book. It was very similar to the first time I held my first born child.
Finally, after 13+ years of battling insecurities, self doubt, self recrimination and worrying about whether or not I had the talent, or if The Devenshire Chronicles was any good at all… I held a physical copy of my book in my hand.
For a time I had abandoned the idea of being a published author. My first marriage had broken up and I quickly entered into another relationship that I allowed to suck the life out of me. One by one all of my interests faded away. One by one all of my friends drifted away. Even my family distanced themselves from me. As much as I would love to blame her, it was my fault for allowing it to happen. I let her drain me and I allowed her to douse the fires of my passions and dreams. It’s very hard to admit to that, but the truth is the truth. I am certainly not proud of it, especially given that my dream to become a published author was started by Ms. Joynelle Pearson in the nurses’ station of Mt. Vernon High School 33 years ago. Despite my cruel abandoning of who I really was and my dreams, I held a physical copy of my book in my hand.
After so many years of loss, doubt, fear, desperation and futility, I held a physical copy of my book in my hand.
Despite my best efforts to shove Devenshire and his story out of my mind and that stubborn bastard refusing to go: I held a physical copy of my book in my hand.
After giving up on love or ever finding a true companion, I finally found my guardian angel, my best friend, my soul mate, my hero, my rock, my strength, and Daimion Devenshire’s staunchest ally in Renee Sechrist. After that beautiful creature agreed to be my wife and partner… and, in no small part, thanks to her: I held a physical copy of my book in my hand.
As I held that first book in my hand, tears welled up in my eyes and my hands shook. I was overcome with emotions I had no idea would come. It was then that I realized that somewhere over the past 13 years I had honestly stopped believing this day would ever come. Today was not about selling hundreds of thousands of copies of my book. Today was not about being a best-selling author or cutting amazing movie deals or doing a dozen interviews and book signings a week or any of the other nice little fantasies we authors play out in our minds on a daily (if not hourly) basis. At the moment I held that book in my hand I honestly didn’t care if it ever sold another copy. Because for that moment… for that instant… my dream had come true! There’s no amount of fame or fortune that can ever duplicate that moment… that feeling… that truth!!
I looked up at the mantel and the picture of my mother and step-father and wept. They didn’t live long enough to see this day. I wept because they had always told me that I could do anything I set my mind to and I had forgotten that somewhere along the way… until Renee came along and reminded me.
I realize this is an over romanticized and very emotional rambling about something as simple as opening a box and taking a paperback book out. Yet for me… for that little boy who dreamed those grand dreams all those years ago… this moment is about vindication! Vindication against a head full of demons that constantly try to beat you down and steal your dreams. It’s victory over self doubt, it’s victory over obstacles and odds that seem insurmountable at the time. It’s the realization that once you do cross them and look back over your shoulder… they weren’t that tough after all.
To all of you out there, whether you write books, paint pictures, write songs, sing, dance, cook or are just struggling with a really hard time in your life: NEVER give up, not on yourself and not on your dreams. Not ever!
Remember… always remember… You never fail until you quit trying!
There are moments in your life that really stand out. The day you get married, the birth of your children, a hard fought after raise or promotion. These days and moments find a way to separate themselves from the mundane passage of other days and cement themselves in your mind as days you will never forget.
Today was one of those days for me.
I received the first paperback copies of my first book, “The Stones of Andarus”. I was not at all prepared for the emotions that ensued once I opened that box. After opening the box and removing the packing material, there it was. Book One of The Devenshire Chronicles, “The Stones of Andarus”… by Tom Sechrist! I don’t know how long I simply stood there, gazing down into that box and the first copy of my book. It was very similar to the first time I held my first born child.
Finally, after 13+ years of battling insecurities, self doubt, self recrimination and worrying about whether or not I had the talent, or if The Devenshire Chronicles was any good at all… I held a physical copy of my book in my hand.
For a time I had abandoned the idea of being a published author. My first marriage had broken up and I quickly entered into another relationship that I allowed to suck the life out of me. One by one all of my interests faded away. One by one all of my friends drifted away. Even my family distanced themselves from me. As much as I would love to blame her, it was my fault for allowing it to happen. I let her drain me and I allowed her to douse the fires of my passions and dreams. It’s very hard to admit to that, but the truth is the truth. I am certainly not proud of it, especially given that my dream to become a published author was started by Ms. Joynelle Pearson in the nurses’ station of Mt. Vernon High School 33 years ago. Despite my cruel abandoning of who I really was and my dreams, I held a physical copy of my book in my hand.
After so many years of loss, doubt, fear, desperation and futility, I held a physical copy of my book in my hand.
Despite my best efforts to shove Devenshire and his story out of my mind and that stubborn bastard refusing to go: I held a physical copy of my book in my hand.
After giving up on love or ever finding a true companion, I finally found my guardian angel, my best friend, my soul mate, my hero, my rock, my strength, and Daimion Devenshire’s staunchest ally in Renee Sechrist. After that beautiful creature agreed to be my wife and partner… and, in no small part, thanks to her: I held a physical copy of my book in my hand.
As I held that first book in my hand, tears welled up in my eyes and my hands shook. I was overcome with emotions I had no idea would come. It was then that I realized that somewhere over the past 13 years I had honestly stopped believing this day would ever come. Today was not about selling hundreds of thousands of copies of my book. Today was not about being a best-selling author or cutting amazing movie deals or doing a dozen interviews and book signings a week or any of the other nice little fantasies we authors play out in our minds on a daily (if not hourly) basis. At the moment I held that book in my hand I honestly didn’t care if it ever sold another copy. Because for that moment… for that instant… my dream had come true! There’s no amount of fame or fortune that can ever duplicate that moment… that feeling… that truth!!
I looked up at the mantel and the picture of my mother and step-father and wept. They didn’t live long enough to see this day. I wept because they had always told me that I could do anything I set my mind to and I had forgotten that somewhere along the way… until Renee came along and reminded me.
I realize this is an over romanticized and very emotional rambling about something as simple as opening a box and taking a paperback book out. Yet for me… for that little boy who dreamed those grand dreams all those years ago… this moment is about vindication! Vindication against a head full of demons that constantly try to beat you down and steal your dreams. It’s victory over self doubt, it’s victory over obstacles and odds that seem insurmountable at the time. It’s the realization that once you do cross them and look back over your shoulder… they weren’t that tough after all.
To all of you out there, whether you write books, paint pictures, write songs, sing, dance, cook or are just struggling with a really hard time in your life: NEVER give up, not on yourself and not on your dreams. Not ever!
Remember… always remember… You never fail until you quit trying!
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