You might not think that I am someone who is easily intimidated. And I'm not, generally speaking. I have faced KGB interrogators (FSB, actually); I have knowingly visited cities where uranium and asbestos are mined; I survived the Second Persian Gulf War, the Second Lebanon War, and the tail end of the Al-Aqsa Intifada; I have rearranged meetings with a dozen ambassadors on a moment's notice; I have wrestled with crocodiles in the Australian outback.

Well, all except for that last bit. But still, you'd think that I wouldn't be frightened by a little fish.

But it wasn't just any fish I was up against today. It was a walleye. I've never fished for walleye before. I'm more of a trout-bass-salmon sort of gal. Being from the West Coast, walleyes are definitely out of my comfort zone, even after trying to read up on them on the Internet. The thing is, thanks to my father's outdoorsman genes and my stepdad taking me on fishing trips as a kid, I really, really like fishing. But I'm a total amateur. And even when I've got the right gear and am having a good casting day, I'm still only as good as the fishing spot and the insider tidbits that this introvert can get up the guts to weasel out of the locals. This brings me to the next point of intimidation.

You know a good fishing spot when you see all the men lined up. There is a supposedly great walleye fishing hole 10 minutes' drive from my house. But I've never ventured there to fish before today. Why, you ask, apart from my absolute ignorance about how to catch a walleye? As many times as I've driven by, I've never seen any women there. Plus, there's this difference between men and women. Since when do you see bunches of girls sitting around by a lake drinking beer, chatting it up, and poking worms on hooks? See? And I'm not a female version of that, either. I'm here for the hunt. To bring back food to cook and eat. Yes, I enjoy being outdoors, and I saw some lovely pelicans today, but that's not what I'm all about.

Anyway, supposedly Montana has some fantastic walleye fishing. So I've been trying to psych myself up to go and try for some time. And now that I have my license and discovered a walleye kit in my tackle box, I don't have any more excuses, do I? But between my utter incompetence and feeling like a complete idiot, not to mention the whole venturing into this man's world, it took every ounce of courage today for me to get all my equipment together and drive up to the lake. But I did it! I was so nervous I almost drove off without my pole, and I did forget my net, in fact, but I did it.

When I got there, at first I was ecstatic to see that no one else was out there on this cold and gloomy early morning. But then I came around the corner fully, and saw someone was there. A male someone. Standing in a good spot at the causeway. Sigh. Back to feeling utterly insecure and totally intimidated.

Well, I fished for a while. I tried a few spots. I was starting to feel OK about it all, if a bit chilled by the wind. I caught only a large fish scale (weird) and a leaf. Until I caught the tree. The only tree on the whole bank. Yes, back to feeling like a complete idiot! I decided to cut my losses then and there. Well, it was the line I cut and my jig and silicon worm that I lost.

Still, even walleye-less, I feel like I've achieved something important today. I've gotten past the first run of it. Surely, the next time will be easier. But at the beginning of a new season, I also see that I could use some new line. And the bearings in my reel aren't functioning as well as I'd like them to. I wonder how long it will take me to muster the nerve to go venture into the man's world that is the sporting goods store. Sigh. It might take a while.