I read a story the other day about a guy who got lost in the woods and ended up living on a diet of squirrels until his owner found him. Wait, no. That was about a dog. The dog got lost in the woods, and the owner lived on a diet of squirrels till the dog turned up. You know, that doesn’t sound right either. But I guess what I am getting at is this: Getting lost in the woods stinks.

First, it can stink in a literal sense, if there are a bunch of skunks around or something. But it can also stin...