(BRAIN Goodall! Get it? Get it?) (Ahem. Anywaaaaay.)

Here are some things that Brain Goodall has found in her extensive research of taking a shitload of meds only to have them not work almost all of the time:

1. Brain Goodall has observed (of herself) that she has a mid-afternoon to late evening slump in mood. She noticed that the subject (herself) responded to splitting the meds up over the course of the day to tackle the problem. (This is fooling Brain Goodall’s employers COMPLETELY. What a ruse!)

For instance, the subject (herself) would split up the doses into three separate doses and take one upon waking, one before lunch, and one around 3pm. The subject found this to be very effective.

2. Taking B vitamins and large doses of SAMe (1200 to 1600 mg, spread throughout the day) helped to boost Brain’s mood.

3. Subject should not drink more than a few alcoholic drinks throughout the week.

4. Subject will really regret the mixing of the drinks and the drugs when she is crying the next morning over a broken shoelace.

5. Seriously, subject, two glasses of wine a week is FINE.

6. Much to the subject’s dismay, she has found that a lower carb/lower sugar diet helps with mood. WAH. Subject misses cookies most days.

7. Subject has also found that blaring “feel-good” “music” during “sadness” “helps.” Subject also likes to make herself “laugh” by using “quotation” “marks” as she has seen them used in “actual” “school” “assignments” by people with “actual” “graduate” “degrees.” (Last set of quotation marks used in seriousness.)

7a. Music like Taylor Swift and also this song:

8. But subject would take recommendations for more songs. In the comments? Pretty please.

And seriously, Dr. Goodall suggests breaking up the dosage. It’s made a HUGE difference.