Today's Edition
Greetings, citizen, and welcome to Today's Edition, the Bunker's most trustworthy source of news and current events!
And now a word from our sponsors.
Ratatouille Cleaning! A private firm associated with H&C, we are quickly establishing ourselves as the Bunker's NUMBER ONE carpet cleaning service. No charred holes or sickening smell at Ratatouille Cleaning! Our experts are available at any stretch and at your convenience. Call to schedule and appointment now!
And now our top stories this weekstretch.
Citizen Hamar Quail, the champion of this yearstretch's Shark Swim event, spectacularly crashed his autopod in the transtube between sectors R-4 and R-5, fatally injuring himself and several others. The available surveillance reveals that he was driving recklessly and without regard to those around him. Recently promoted to Epsilon clearance, this incredible athlete and rising star's colleagues unanimously report he was a pleasure to work with. We will surely miss him.
In other news, part of T-4 sector is being temporarily restricted to Beta-clearance and higher. The Wellness Pyramid and Mystic River Racetrack and Casino will therefore be off-limits to most citizens. On a related note, the viscous material that had been seeping from the Wellness Pyramid – and which some miscreants have erroneously referred to as “brown sludge” – has disappeared almost completely from the premises. Meanwhile, work continues at a furious pace. The Bunker is holding its breath to find out what exactly is going on inside. Stay turned for further developments as they become available.
And now a word from our sponsors.
Dagon. The name says it all. Chiq. Fashionable. Attractive. Dagon. The distinguished citizen's apparel.
We would now like to draw your attention to the Bunker's emotionally powerful and riveting public service documentary, What Would Carlton Smickett Say? Sometimes even the best prepared citizen will be confronted with a sudden electrical fire, chemical explosion, or nuclear meltdown and not know how to respond. Every secondstretch counts in such a situation. That's why Control has directed the placement of Remedy Stations throughout the Bunker. These friendly, red booths are there to help you in times of dire emergency. Simple find one and follow the printed instructions. The various implements, sprays, and cabling at your disposal are securely locked behind reinforced plastex for security reasons. In the event of a calamity, remain calm. To gain access, press the buttons in the correct order, flip the switches in the designated pattern, and apply pressure according to the timing specified in the printed instructions. Due to heightened terrorist activity, each Remedy Station is operated differently. Remember, the boys over at Control care about your wellbeing and that of your friends and family. That's surely what Carlton Smickett would say.
On a lighter note, Lady Lagrange was spotted last weekstretch enjoying a little exercise and relaxation at Groind's Gym and Sauna in D-2 sector. As you may recall, Lady Lagrange was once the host of Audition For Freedom, the popular vidshow where criminals elect to defend themselves against their accusers in an open forum instead of submitting to the ordinary investigative apparatus. Her sudden and unannounced departure from the show sparked some debate, but her recent public appearances should lay to rest any doubts about her retirement.
And now for some public service announcements.
The repository of forms on X.net operated by Central Management will be temporarily taken offline tomorrow for a period of zero to two hundred and seventy-six hourstretches. Please plan accordingly. In addition, upgrades to the metro line in F sector may result in delays to scheduled trains. A taxi service at all affected stations will be provided free of charge by Yellowpod, a private firm working for the Production and Logistics conglomerate. Please have your tickets ready for inspection. Thank you for your cooperation.
The Color of the Patriot is flashbang.
Thank you for your time and attention, citizen. Remember, today is the same as any other! Greetings, and until next weekstretch.
---------------------
Interested readers can find out more about the Bunker in my sci-fi adventure novels, Thank You For Your Cooperation and Your Call Is Important To Us.
And now a word from our sponsors.
Ratatouille Cleaning! A private firm associated with H&C, we are quickly establishing ourselves as the Bunker's NUMBER ONE carpet cleaning service. No charred holes or sickening smell at Ratatouille Cleaning! Our experts are available at any stretch and at your convenience. Call to schedule and appointment now!
And now our top stories this weekstretch.
Citizen Hamar Quail, the champion of this yearstretch's Shark Swim event, spectacularly crashed his autopod in the transtube between sectors R-4 and R-5, fatally injuring himself and several others. The available surveillance reveals that he was driving recklessly and without regard to those around him. Recently promoted to Epsilon clearance, this incredible athlete and rising star's colleagues unanimously report he was a pleasure to work with. We will surely miss him.
In other news, part of T-4 sector is being temporarily restricted to Beta-clearance and higher. The Wellness Pyramid and Mystic River Racetrack and Casino will therefore be off-limits to most citizens. On a related note, the viscous material that had been seeping from the Wellness Pyramid – and which some miscreants have erroneously referred to as “brown sludge” – has disappeared almost completely from the premises. Meanwhile, work continues at a furious pace. The Bunker is holding its breath to find out what exactly is going on inside. Stay turned for further developments as they become available.
And now a word from our sponsors.
Dagon. The name says it all. Chiq. Fashionable. Attractive. Dagon. The distinguished citizen's apparel.
We would now like to draw your attention to the Bunker's emotionally powerful and riveting public service documentary, What Would Carlton Smickett Say? Sometimes even the best prepared citizen will be confronted with a sudden electrical fire, chemical explosion, or nuclear meltdown and not know how to respond. Every secondstretch counts in such a situation. That's why Control has directed the placement of Remedy Stations throughout the Bunker. These friendly, red booths are there to help you in times of dire emergency. Simple find one and follow the printed instructions. The various implements, sprays, and cabling at your disposal are securely locked behind reinforced plastex for security reasons. In the event of a calamity, remain calm. To gain access, press the buttons in the correct order, flip the switches in the designated pattern, and apply pressure according to the timing specified in the printed instructions. Due to heightened terrorist activity, each Remedy Station is operated differently. Remember, the boys over at Control care about your wellbeing and that of your friends and family. That's surely what Carlton Smickett would say.
On a lighter note, Lady Lagrange was spotted last weekstretch enjoying a little exercise and relaxation at Groind's Gym and Sauna in D-2 sector. As you may recall, Lady Lagrange was once the host of Audition For Freedom, the popular vidshow where criminals elect to defend themselves against their accusers in an open forum instead of submitting to the ordinary investigative apparatus. Her sudden and unannounced departure from the show sparked some debate, but her recent public appearances should lay to rest any doubts about her retirement.
And now for some public service announcements.
The repository of forms on X.net operated by Central Management will be temporarily taken offline tomorrow for a period of zero to two hundred and seventy-six hourstretches. Please plan accordingly. In addition, upgrades to the metro line in F sector may result in delays to scheduled trains. A taxi service at all affected stations will be provided free of charge by Yellowpod, a private firm working for the Production and Logistics conglomerate. Please have your tickets ready for inspection. Thank you for your cooperation.
The Color of the Patriot is flashbang.
Thank you for your time and attention, citizen. Remember, today is the same as any other! Greetings, and until next weekstretch.
---------------------
Interested readers can find out more about the Bunker in my sci-fi adventure novels, Thank You For Your Cooperation and Your Call Is Important To Us.
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