Today's Edition
A fun and happy greetings to everyone out there today! This is Marsha Wong.
And I'm Hillary Binzer. You're reading the latest from Your Edition Today!
The Bunker has seen a sharp – perhaps even alarming – uptick in terrorist activity of late. Guardians from Defense are doing they best they can to keep the hoards of traitors at bay, and agents from Homeland Security are working late into their nightstretches to thwart the next series of attacks. But we are clearly facing an onslaught of unprecedented proportions.
Thank you, Marsha. Due to the severity of the situation, citizens everywhere are being asked to step up and take their own initiative. Remember, anyone with a higher security clearance than yourself can enter a Mark of Excellence into your permanent record. Or – in the case of inaction in the face of obvious harm to public property or other dastardly conduct – a Mark of Shame. Not only is a copy of your permanent record available for everyone to peruse on X.net, but it will also be taken into consideration when you are considered for a possible promotion.
That's right, Hillary. Consider the chaos that almost broke out in departments T-4 through T-6 when it turned out all the local commissaries were no longer functioning. You heard us correctly, citizen. Imagine: no delicious and nutritious Vitamim to help you kick off your daystretch and keep you satisfied as you sweat through your work quota. Now, accounts of the cause of this daring act of terrorism vary. Some state that the deliveries have ceased from the food pits, all of which are under P&L's control.
Hardly believable, Marsha. Still others claim that the staff has mysteriously disappeared. And there have been additional reports that the community dining halls themselves have suffered some kind of structural damage. I think I ever remember reading something about a collapsed ceiling!
A collapsed ceiling? Hillary, you've got to be kidding.
I didn't write the report, Marsha! But I wholeheartedly agree with your distrust of such obvious lies. Whatever the cause of the interruption in service at some of the community dining halls in T sector, rather than spreading outrageous falsehoods and contributing to the problem, citizens are advised to take a page from those assigned to eat there.
I'm all aglow, Hillary, just thinking about it now. Firstly, these fine citizens arranged amongst themselves to reassign certain of their number to other commissaries. An administratively difficult (and some say impossible) procedure, they'll be filling out the forms for some time, but it's their bold seizure of the initiative that we want to bring to your attention.
As for those left to fend for themselves in the deserted and admittedly dangerous commissaries, information is sketchy and vague. According to the latest surveillance, a few of them might have suffered unfortunate accidents. In a strange and bizarre twist to this story, their bodies have been misplaced and for some reason cannot be pinpointed at this time. Agents from Homeland Security will be investigating the mysterious disappearances as soon as they get around to it.
Well, that's all the time we have for you today. Stay tuned for another dispatch of Your Edition Today! as soon as we can get it to you.
And remember: we are citizens of the Bunker. Each and every last one of us.
---------------------
Interested readers can find out more about the Bunker in my sci-fi adventure novels, Thank You For Your Cooperation and Your Call Is Important To Us.
And I'm Hillary Binzer. You're reading the latest from Your Edition Today!
The Bunker has seen a sharp – perhaps even alarming – uptick in terrorist activity of late. Guardians from Defense are doing they best they can to keep the hoards of traitors at bay, and agents from Homeland Security are working late into their nightstretches to thwart the next series of attacks. But we are clearly facing an onslaught of unprecedented proportions.
Thank you, Marsha. Due to the severity of the situation, citizens everywhere are being asked to step up and take their own initiative. Remember, anyone with a higher security clearance than yourself can enter a Mark of Excellence into your permanent record. Or – in the case of inaction in the face of obvious harm to public property or other dastardly conduct – a Mark of Shame. Not only is a copy of your permanent record available for everyone to peruse on X.net, but it will also be taken into consideration when you are considered for a possible promotion.
That's right, Hillary. Consider the chaos that almost broke out in departments T-4 through T-6 when it turned out all the local commissaries were no longer functioning. You heard us correctly, citizen. Imagine: no delicious and nutritious Vitamim to help you kick off your daystretch and keep you satisfied as you sweat through your work quota. Now, accounts of the cause of this daring act of terrorism vary. Some state that the deliveries have ceased from the food pits, all of which are under P&L's control.
Hardly believable, Marsha. Still others claim that the staff has mysteriously disappeared. And there have been additional reports that the community dining halls themselves have suffered some kind of structural damage. I think I ever remember reading something about a collapsed ceiling!
A collapsed ceiling? Hillary, you've got to be kidding.
I didn't write the report, Marsha! But I wholeheartedly agree with your distrust of such obvious lies. Whatever the cause of the interruption in service at some of the community dining halls in T sector, rather than spreading outrageous falsehoods and contributing to the problem, citizens are advised to take a page from those assigned to eat there.
I'm all aglow, Hillary, just thinking about it now. Firstly, these fine citizens arranged amongst themselves to reassign certain of their number to other commissaries. An administratively difficult (and some say impossible) procedure, they'll be filling out the forms for some time, but it's their bold seizure of the initiative that we want to bring to your attention.
As for those left to fend for themselves in the deserted and admittedly dangerous commissaries, information is sketchy and vague. According to the latest surveillance, a few of them might have suffered unfortunate accidents. In a strange and bizarre twist to this story, their bodies have been misplaced and for some reason cannot be pinpointed at this time. Agents from Homeland Security will be investigating the mysterious disappearances as soon as they get around to it.
Well, that's all the time we have for you today. Stay tuned for another dispatch of Your Edition Today! as soon as we can get it to you.
And remember: we are citizens of the Bunker. Each and every last one of us.
---------------------
Interested readers can find out more about the Bunker in my sci-fi adventure novels, Thank You For Your Cooperation and Your Call Is Important To Us.
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