Feel the fear and do it anyway!!!

So, I haven’t written on my blog for ooh almost  at least a year! Except maybe a little re blog post somewhere….. 

The reason I started this blog was because I wanted to write- I’ve always wanted to write! And I have stories to tell, (mostly) made up stories that come from my own head, but stories from my own experiences too, and these were what I wanted to share. Once I’d done that, I started to realise my blog was just another pro-crastination tool to stop me actually writing that book!!! Somewhere else (other than my countless notebooks!) to splurge with creative freedom and never actually have to craft it all into a book. 

So I stopped blogging (not that anyone except my mum read it anyway!) I don’t think the blogging world missed me much, let’s put it that way! 

Anyway,around the time I was giving up blogging to focus on a real book, a psychic told me I was scared of success. She said “you want people to like you so much that your scared success will make them dislike you or judge you. It’s holding you back in your business and your writing!” Fear of succeeding was as much an issue for me as fear of failure. 

So I made a choice to write a book I’d wanted to do for a long time. A collections of love stories from real military wives and girlfriends. The strength behind the strong. By writing other people’s stories it made me accountable- I had to finish, because I told them I would. I also decided to do it for charity – another tool of accountability. Who could not finish a charity project just cos they were too busy distracting themselves with their Pinterest world and twitter followers? The modern world with all it’s tools of engagement is a minefield for people like me, who constantly seek approval, and whose imagination is vivid enough to actually disappear a little into my Pinterest life.

Anyway, I had no idea how hard it would be! To write other people’s stories in a way that they liked and that fitted with your book idea, and which did them justice because so many people play down their achievements.  To write for others in more ways than just readers- a brave or stupid move. I’m not sure which yet! 

So for the last year I have been on a merry go round, roller coaster ride with a huge learning curve of self publishing thrown in! (Did I mention I also suffer with vertigo and dizziness? My nan used to call me “dizzy lizzy”) I also have driven my husband quietly insane starting every conversation- “in my book…” (Like the girl in American pie “and this one time at band camp!”)

But it’s done!!!!!