1. Off the bat, I don’t hate Anastasia as I expected I would. She has a lot stronger voice than I expected, given all the criticism I’ve seen and heard over the past few years. So far, she’s a good Every-Woman.

2. Oh, God, she fell into the room??? I hate awkwardness. Can’t handle it in real life. I just want to close my eyes, but I can’t or we’ll never get past it.

3. So a lot of color/word play here. Lots of grays and whites and metals and stones. Some people might say, “Gray/Grey? Steele/steel? Isn’t that a little unsubtle?” But I think it’s good. She’s connecting the setting with the male main character. Through these colors and hard surfaces, we get a good sense of who Grey is, even if Ana didn’t make the observation that he’s a “control freak.” It’s also (I assume) going to be a stark contrast to this Red Room I keep hearing about.

4. Come on, Ana, obviously he showed up to see you. Not like your hardware store has some special one-of-a-kind sex-rope and cable ties.

5. A lot of lines I’ve seen in spoofs and criticisms of the book are here in the first chapters. One of them is this: “His voice is warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel…or something.” Now here’s the problem when you take a line out of context to prove a point about a book. I actually thought this line was perfect. The girl has been stunned witless by the beautiful Mr. Grey. This line showed that. Besides which, I think this line is satire. Ana admits to reading romance novels and the food-like sounds of men’s voices are often described in romances.

P.S. To find out what Christian Grey smells like, go here.

6. I like this line: “Desperately, I scrabble around for my equilibrium.” I don’t know why. It’s just awesome. Or at least very good.

7. Christian Grey is what they call “man-pretty.” I think Ashton Kutcher should play him in the movie. But I guess I’m too late for that conversation, too.

In Conclusion: I’m into it. I’ll keep reading. Ana is relatable and not dumb. I’m sad that I’m going into this with preconceived ideas, but that’s what happens when you don’t read a novel before it becomes popular.

As for Christian, we’ll see. I’m usually a beards-and-flannel kind of girl, but I have been swayed by a fancy suit, from time to time.

So what do you think? Can anyone tell me about how far I am from the first hot-and-steamy scene?