So, who else has seen those pictures of women breastfeeding?  You know, the ones claiming to portray its beauty?  Many of you know what I’m taking about and I’m sure the opinions vary.  Pictures like what I’m referring to are responsible for much of the breastfeeding in public uprising over the last several weeks.   

Before we get into this I’ve got a question:  What in the world do the pictures in question have to do with breastfeeding?  Take away the kid and what are they?  To me, it’s obvious that the women are the focus.  The kids seem to be pawns used/exploited in order to make a point, to push an ideal, an agenda. 

And another thing, what woman has ever gone out into public in the way the pictures portray and breastfed their kids?  It’s completely ridiculous, unrealistic, and completely unnecessary.

End of rant…almost.

Yes, I’m a man.  Yes, I’m about to write an article about breastfeeding.  Let’s move on.

Let me say right off the top, and please hear this, I’m not against moms breastfeeding their kids in public…with the assumption the kid isn’t old enough to handle the whole thing his/herself.  And that it’s not for one of the reasons I’m about to list.  I do think that there are many times public breastfeeding is necessary.  And I don’t think moms should feel shame about it.

I’m not asserting that my list of wrong reasons is comprehensive.  And I’m not interested in being the judge of what might be a right reason.  But I do consider the following three things concerning and a relevant to society today.

So, without further adieu,

3 Reasons You Shouldn’t Breastfeed In Public

1.     To Prove A Point

Consider this:  You think it’s perfectly fine to breastfeed in public.  But you feel oppressed by the world.  You don’t like anyone saying that what you think is beautiful should be hidden.  So, you take every opportunity you can to breastfeed in public and shoot defiant glares at anyone unlucky enough to glance in your direction.

Question:  Where is the love in this approach?

Maybe it sounds a little flippant to just bring the issue back to love.  Maybe I’m not considering all sides to the scenario.  Honestly, I’m not.  But does it matter? 

We are commanded to love one another.  It’s how we know God is our father.  I wonder how throwing something like public breastfeeding in the face of the world promotes love, honor, and respect. 

As kingdom people who love and follow Jesus, we are exhorted to be like him.  Jesus promoted a power-under mentality, a self-sacrificial love mentality.  Planting our foot in the sand on an issue like public breastfeeding is attempting to gain a victory by the world system, the power-over way.  It says, I’ll use my will and strength to make you conform.  It’s just not the way Jesus operated because it’s not love, it’s control.  And control doesn’t win friends, it breeds enemies.

People who love making points are people who love winning.  Many people who love winning are just desperate to feel loved, valued, and significant.  But winning the breastfeeding battle won’t bring us any of that.  At least not for much longer than a few lousy minutes.  Just know there are times that winning makes us losers (see what I did there?).

Plus, breastfeeding in public to make a point drags an innocent child into a harsh game.  They become a pawn, an ends to a means.  All of the beautiful relational elements breastfeeding is supposed to implant are gone and bitterness, anxiety, and self-righteousness are passed on instead.

Don’t breastfeed in public to make a point.

2.     If It Offends Someone

As followers of Jesus, we don’t have the luxury of not caring what people think.  Of disregarding all opinions but our own.   We’re not supposed to anyway. But it can be easy to fall into that mentality.

“I’m gonna speak the truth and I don’t care what they think.”

“I’m gonna do this thing for God and it doesn’t matter what they think.”

“I’m gonna breastfeed in public and I don’t care what they think.”

Okay, I’ll admit that the last one is a departure from the first two but the mentality is the same.  That is, feeling passionate about something we feel is morally right gives us permission to disregard the feelings and desires of others.  But love will never disregard others in any way.  We may end up speaking the same truth or doing whatever for God, but love always considers and values the feelings of others.

I think many of us try and conquer the fear of man by extracting the value and worth of people.  “I don’t care what you think,” is something we might spout when trying to quiet the voice in our head wondering, “What will they think” or “What will they do?”  But the reason we do it is irrelevant.  It’s wrong.

I wrote a previous blog about this particular subject you can read here.  Paul exhorts us to consider the feelings and convictions of others when we make decisions.  In Romans 14, he explains a kingdom principal that teaches us to restrain from doing things that might cause offense in others, things that might be a stumbling block to others. 

As Paul states in verse 21 and 22 (AMP),  “The right thing is to eat no meat or drink no wine [at all], or [do anything else] if it makes your brother stumble or hurts his conscience or offends or weakens him.  Your personal convictions [on such matters]—exercise [them] as in God’s presence, keeping them to yourself [striving only to know the truth and obey His will]. Blessed (happy, [a] to be envied) is he who has no reason to judge himself for what he approves [who does not convict himself by what he chooses to do].”

There are obvious moral and kingdom exceptions here. Peter and John state in Acts 4, “Is it better to obey you or God…”  But even in that I believe they handled it in the most loving way they could.    


I don’t think public breastfeeding lands in either the moral or kingdom exception category.  Self-sacrificial love means bending the knee whenever we can.  Disregarding the offense of another in order to breastfeed publicly is being stiff-necked.  In most situations there is a way to be discreet.  Many of us are just too prideful to look for it (including myself in that…with different issues).

3.     Because You’re a Strong and Independent Woman

Throughout history, and still today, the world can be a tougher place for women than men in a lot of ways.  For a number of years a voice has been sounding for women to be strong, confident, and independent.  Some may choose to breastfeed publicly as a part of ascending to that ideal. 

In Christ, you are indeed a strong woman who carries an extraordinary amount of power and authority!  However, the independent, self-will attitude that often accompanies the assertiveness of woman today is in direct conflict with the kingdom life Jesus came to establish in our hearts and on the earth.

This isn’t going to be a wives submit to husbands’ section.  I’ll just point out how, since the fall, men have sought to crush woman under their feet and woman have rebelled however they can in an attempt to dethrone the man who is making them feel small and powerless.  It’s a power struggle plain and simple.  Both sides lose. 

The kingdom principle of submission is mutual (Eph. 5:21).  Both sides bend the knee and come to decisions together.  Both sides aim to lift up and exalt each other, to honor and respect each other, to keep relationship as the highest priority.  The man doesn’t force the woman and visa-versa. 

Independence is a relationship killer.  Self-reliance flies in the face of the repeated biblical exhortation to put our trust in the Lord.  Lean on him, depend on him.  And loving others means that we invite them to participate in our lives.  We let them do things for us and with us.  No matter what the world screams, asking for help is not weakness, it’s strength.  It builds relationships and it’s one way love is expressed. 

We can be powerful, confident, strong, leaders, etc.  But we can do it in love, which is the only real power anyway. 

I think it can all be summed up like this:  Love one another.

Blessings,

Jesse and Kara Birkey