Ring of Inspiration

When I began this journey of writing, everything that bled from my thoughts, my heart and my soul into the pen and onto the paper was a secret. I shared a few poems here and there, but those that were close to me at 14 years old – they didn’t really show much interest so I figured it just wasn’t good enough to share with others, therefor, I kept it all to myself and became very protective of my work. Everything I wrote was my secret for at least 15 years.

Only a few people (including my hubby) were allowed to read my poetry, my thoughts, how I felt about both “in general” topics and “out of this world” topics.

I’ve always seen my poetry as “Emotional Portraits”. Everything I write is an expression of what’s happening around me and within me. In order to maintain peace with this; as it was my only release and MY truth, I needed to guard it from anything that intended harm toward it. Hence: Taking care of my mind and heart.

I was introduced to Facebook about 6 or 7 years ago and I thought it was another Myspace website but to my surprise, it had turned into more than that. It gradually became the website I began sharing my poetry on.

My friend Darren suggested I share a writing with him and after a lot of hesitation, I decided to share with him, one of my “Emotional Portraits”. I was nervous about the response I would receive but he loved it and suggested I share my poetry on “Facebook”. 0.o I told him I wasn’t sure if that was a good idea and I didn’t think anyone would be interested in reading it. I knew there were others that would gain a little inspiration from my pieces but to put it out in the open for anyone and everyone to pick apart piece by piece gave me instant chills up my spine.

He insisted that everyone needed to see it because he could SEE the portrait that was painted by the emotions I put into the poem. I talked to my hubby about it and he thought it was a good idea too. I was still unsure and It took me a little while to gain enough courage to post “A” poem on. (Just ONE!)

Endless Nightmares

Calling the evil,

Taming the kind,

Waiting for the rain to fall,

Hoping for the sun to shine,

Walking in a path of no direction,

A road leading you to a cliff,

Talking but the words you can not speak,

Waiting for the trek to shift,

Speaking the truth in which turns on you,

Telling a lie , and the lie comes true,

Smelling the sweet fragrance of a rose ,and

being pricked by the thorns,

falling head over heels in love yet feeling torn,

I call the evil,

tame the kind

Still claiming everything that is mine.

-Amber M. Royse

 This poem was one of my first poems I wrote and THE first poem I posted on Facebook. It’s since been deleted and put in a book of poetry compiled from my very own work. When I wrote that poem it was a very confusing time in my life, when I had discovered everything seemed backwards in this world compared to the way my heart told me it should have been.

There were a few comments on that poem, but even I knew it wasn’t going to be understood by everyone and I had eventually learned to accept that fact. The more poetry I shared, the people who needed to read it, did. And, knowing those who needed the inspiration, read the poetry became my main focus for continuing to share it. It flipped from a sacred release for me to a sacred release for others.

About 5 years ago, I reconnected with an Aunt from my father’s side. The crazy part is – the night before she found me on “FACEBOOK”, I had written in my journal – Agreeing to stop searching for my father’s side so hard and to allow it to happen in its own time. I closed my journal after the entry and a short poem for my father only to discover at 3;00 in the morning – a message from my Aunt ( My father’s sister) and at that point the missing puzzle piece was now in its appropriate place. She was a gift to me when I agreed to trust the divine plan of the universe.

Shortly after reconnecting, we began sharing poetry back and forth and she told me about the long line of writers and journalists on my father’s side… I’m sure you can imagine the excitement protruding from inside of me when I found out that I WASN’T THE ONLY ONE! Lol, it was one miracle after another for me.

She really boosted the encouragement my soul-brother Darren had started. They began a spark of confidence and a will to continue reaching out. The spirit coming from both of them made me realize there was a much BIGGER purpose to my writing… A GOOD purpose.

At that point – the souls that were meant to share this journey with me began showing up. To be honest – I wasn’t sure how to respond to all of the support I began receiving other than to keep writing…

A Piece of Home

      For so many years, as far as I can remember, I have walked through this life with a burden of questions, and only the images of what I thought were the answers left me with little closure.

Always too afraid to vocalize my thoughts or my feelings because there was no one there to relate

to , like a ghost following my every step , mocking my every move, always frightened at the chance of my questions falling victim to exposure.

After years of  learning what questions were important and  the ones that held no significance, I could manipulate my dreams into what I wanted them to be , as my dreams were the one place I could rely on for comfort,

Many moons of turning to a place that didn’t exist , where I could lock away my feelings ,one place , the only place I’ve ever felt I belonged, , the sun came out then it was gone, the seasons changed without notice ,but there was always a protective barrier ,my safest place was untainted and  strongly blanketed with a cover.

Sometimes , I would peer out and hide back away, my hopes of stability remained in these dreams,

was I the only one ? the black sheep ,the one that didn’t belong, ? is this why I’ve mastered the ability to mask what truly lay beneath.?

You appeared in the midst of all of this madness, at the end when I was putting that book aside , and ready for the little peace I was hoping to find, you rose from the smoke that held me down for so many years, you came to me with little hesitation right out of my imagination, the comfort that I longed for , the peace of me that never seemed to fit has found its place in a specific puzzle, the hand that reached out and brought me back to the beautiful reality I once tried to flee, to say the least you were the one that freed those dreams , and gave me closure to the many questions that consumed me.

The new beginning, a new book , no longer do I feel alone , In you I have found a small piece of home.

You’ll notice while continuing to read this blog, not only how the encouragement effected me but also how it effected my poetry/writing.

I steadily became introduced to different people with the same passion for writing and people I needed for support. When you follow your heartbeat song and release your passion it becomes your life path and those standing and waiting for you to finally JUST DO IT – will guide you and love you gracefully.

I often think back and thank the universe and the heavens for those who led me to where I firmly stand today. Although my knees were wobbly in the beginning. I felt like a grade school child nervously navigating their way through their first day of classes.

A few years ago my Uncle Lou introduced me to a website “MeetUp” – some of you may be familiar with this website. There was a group of people getting together for a “Writer’s” meeting. I had enough confidence by that point to attend and… I stood up in front of the entire room to read a piece of my poetry out loud. Yes, it was one of the biggest adrenaline rushes I have ever experienced. My tongue felt as though it were going to swell up in my mouth and I was going to choke but I made it through the poem and the entire group loved it. It was one of the proudest moments in my life as well. My hubby pushed me and made sure I went to these meetings. He also saw something in me I didn’t know existed at the time.

I self published several books after attending my first meet up and since then, I have grown in so many ways.

Finding Me

I once believed that dreams were for those who had nothing else to hold on to.

I used to feel that those who shared and chased their dreams were unrealistic fools.

Dreams weren’t meant to manifest or grow.

Those days, I feared my own being. I feared confronting judgement for passion of knowing. A scolding for believing.

One night, the stars shot across the sky, and I was given a chance. A brief glimpse crossed my path, and I was granted a vision of post time.

I saw a being drifting among the clouds, without fear of leaving the ground.

A being who trusted their wings and took flight.

She turned around and gave me a nurturing wink.  With a similar smile, and the love was mirrored to the same love inside of me…. I was no longer running from what I couldn’t see.

The Sky cradled me, as the clouds laid a path of self exploration.

Thoughts and feelings from treading on unknown waters. Despair no longer had any means for formation.

When I heard the voice of a past soul, I heard a familiar voice of my own.

As one person, I became whole. Gracefully introduced to my soul.

One with dreams is  one with meaning, and one that has the greatest potential to grow.

I allowed my wings to support me, and carry me to my destiny.

I live to love, and pass on the inspiration that my Angels have graciously bestowed upon me.

My dreams have become a permanent reminder of “Finding Me”.

I began not only a journey of writing and publishing, inspiring others and gaining inspiration but finding out who I am as well. And, the further I continued down this path the more support I received and the more I challenged myself to see myself and the universe more clearly.

Roots Restored

I often go back …Without reliving the past, traveling down an old Wooded path, where the tree-tops touch the sky…Forth coming ,Skimming branches..  A whistle of memories . A connection to enrich my senses .. Touch and Feel..  A caress that purifies. My skin comes alive. A willingness to comply ..The warmth of the sun.. Filling the emptiness between the dancing leaves, Whispering softly into my ear , My doubts fall with ease.

My heart floods with a familiar bliss, like water escaping the walls of a Dam, rushing tides ….Pushing through to a free-flowing stream …The clatter of my thoughts leave, settling among the footsteps of previous visits, ..A melody unchained , free from its own restraints .

A secret place within a wide open space…To rest easily upon my weary knees …A place where Heaven’s arms gently unfold to wrap around me…Sadness seizes to exist.

I reach down to caress my roots, with caring fingertips and two bare feet…No need to contemplate a direction…My love is not lost, nor the courage to believe…An offering to BE ….In my element ..To perceive, absorb a natural beauty……A moment to restore the roots within me .

I began meditating and reaching out to more people and I noticed that others were beginning to share their stories with me without hesitation. This is what comes when you begin to trust yourself and your life path. Others begin to trust you and they let you in to the most delicate, sensitive parts of their lives. I have some pretty amazing stories in my mind that stay in my mind because I know when they are ready to release their very own inspiration and the time is right, they will. Until then, I listen with love and do my best to be an example of courage.

A couple of years ago I found a website called “Spiritual Unite”. I wanted to check it out and see if there was anyone on there that could help me reach even deeper within myself. I began receiving invites to a blog posted by the one and only Vivienne Duke. I read her blogs often when the links were shared with me and a lot of what she writes about really resonates with me. This ultimately led me to a group on Facebook called “Connecting The Light Energies – 144,000″ I’ve felt and seen many things in my life and this group seemed like a good group to begin sharing those stories with. I was looking for someone to relate to. Someone to comfortably talk with because certain things began happening that I didn’t understand.

My soul – sister Nikki has always been there and often times I confided in her but I knew that there were others like us. Others who saw underneath the surface and understood what I was rediscovering. Things that I had no physical memory of but my heart had memories of.

I took it slow when I joined this group. I shared a couple of poems and began chatting here and there with the others. The connection was so strong that the energy force of our spiritual connection revealed itself and bonds were reunited.

Vivienne and I started sharing ideas back and forth as she introduced me to “AHA – Awakening Heroes Academy”. She shared with me the concept of the website and invited me to share my poetry on the website  Vivienne is an amazing soul and I’m so thankful to have her in my life along with all of the other amazing souls who have seen me through from the very beginning.

She recognized the connection as well and I felt a familiar peace with sharing my poetry with her and the rest of the group so I wrote my first poem to be posted and I was introduced to Esteban. A soul like Vivienne. He helps you pay attention to your thoughts and helps you recognize the spiritual connection between you and your artful expressions. Rhea, John T, Rich, and all of you are such beautiful blessings to so many!

All of you have gone above and beyond to show me support and love. My journey would not be nearly as magical and miraculous without all of you. You mean so much to me!

 Click on link below to be taken to the beautiful website and get to know these beautiful souls. You won’t leave uninspired!

 AHA – Awakening Heroes Academy

(One of the several poems shared to the AHA website)

The beginning of us is infinite.

We hold something very precious and intimate.

Our souls agreed to come together and intertwine – It’s a blessing to know we share the same heart, energy and mind.

I feel you navigating my thoughts – your breath is my pulse. I hear the humming of your body and the enchanted melody of your heartbeat song.

My ears ring when your inner voice sings my name – Your empathy wraps around me in a warm embrace.

We acknowledge the soul-purpose in each other’s earthly and spiritual existence – we share a common loving mission.

Your energy radiates through me and our lights remain connected mid sea.

No matter the calculation of miles between us, with each other is where we’ll always be.

Amber M. Royse

Click on link below to be taken to the poem

http://www.awakeningheroes.org/blog/spiritual-intimacy

When I saw this amazing tattoo I was immediately awed by the gesture and support. Darren had this lovely poem and my signature tattooed on his arm. My soul brothers and sisters – I love you so much! This is my ring of inspiration. We all live to love one another and continuously show it.

Thank you for the time you’ve taken to read this and I hope you see your blessings throughout your day, every day!

Love and light!  Amber M. Royse

Filed under: Amber's Books