The day Amar realised his fault; it was too late. The guilt of how badly he has treated Vrinda was killing him.

“What have I done?” Raj could sense the guilt, the pain and the anger in Amar’s tone. But he was as helpless as Amar, he knew it was too late. The sun that always shined over Amar, had set. Vrinda who gave life to Amar was gone forever.

“Amar, you need to come out of this. I don’t think she is going to come back ever. Please don’t kill yourself with the guilt. It was not only your fault.” Raj tried making a reason.

“I know she won’t come back. Shit! What have I done, how badly I ruined something that I cherished the most. I killed ‘Us’, all because of my anger.” It was getting tougher for Amar to control his tears.

Raj didn’t know what to do, was he with the same Amar. Amar was so full of life, he always wear that smile on his face and today all that was left in him was a lost face full of sorrow and guilt.

“I need her back in my life. Raj, please help me. I can’t see a life without her. She completed me. With her, life looked so beautiful and now it feels like I am dead forever.” Amar could not stop his tears, he was helpless.

He wanted her back, but he couldn’t do anything. She has moved on, he tried everything he could but all he got were failures.

Relationships are strange, it would never succeed if only one person wants it. A mutual bonding is needed to make a relation successful. No matter how harder you try alone, it would never succeed till both make some effort. Amar realised the fact. He had tried all the possible ways to bring Vrinda back but never got any success.

“I wished Vrinda just hated me. Why she had to move on? Why she behaves like she has no emotions left for me?” Amar was able to realise the loss.

It is easier to win back a person who hates you. Hate is love just gone wrong; what is unbearable is the phase of apathy when nothing matters at all.

Amar knew that Vrinda has reached that phase. She has now stopped fighting and getting angry of whatever Amar said. Whenever he would call her or message her, she would just listen to what he has and would never react. The coldness in Vrinda’s behaviour was killing Amar. He wanted her to get angry, shout on him, say bad words. But all he got to all his messages was a cold “hmm”. What killed him the most was when Vrinda would look blankly towards him as he didn’t exist there at all.

Amar knew there was nothing left in her. The girl who loved him so much. Whose life started and ended on him has not sent him any message or haven’t talked to him for so many days.

“How was she able to do this? Does she has nothing left for me?” Amar was still angry with Vrinda and anger had now got mixed with pain and sorrow.

He remembered how beautiful life was when they were together.

“It felt so nice.” Amar remembered as if it was yesterday. “You know Raj, we shared every moment that we lived.” Raj remembered how even when not with Vrinda, Amar was always with her. They were always connected with the help of WhatsApp and it was only sleep which could part them away.

“I know Amar, but you would need to understand that what happened was past. Get into reality; she is gone. Either work on getting her back or just move on.” Amar was jolted back to today by Raj.

“How can she return to my life Raj? I have been so mean to her. How can I even expect her to forgive me and come back?” Amar was again filled with the sense of guilt. He knew he was to be blamed for it was him who has ruined what was the best phase of his life.

“I wished, I could have controlled my anger on time. I had been so possessive. Jealousy ruled me always. I made her life so miserable. Why Raj, why? Why did I not realise what I am doing to her?” tears kept flowing from Amar’s eyes. Yes tears have nothing to do with the gender. It is related to the feelings.

“You know, yesterday I was reading our Whatsapp conversation that we used to have. She was so much with me. She so much cared for me. She would always try making me feel good. She bothered when I used to get angry and would try to make me feel better by sharing her pics or by sending me her sound clips. Those made so much sense to me. I cherished them as my most precious treasures. Just listening to her voice or looking at her melted me like a butter kept on a hot pan. My anger would go away only to return soon.” Amar shared with Raj, the pain in his tone was making Raj feel sorry for him.

“Everyone saw the love in her eyes. I still kept making issues of smaller and big things. If only I would have been more considerate. If only I would have understood her. If only I would have not been so possessive to chock her. She would have still been with me and I would have not been in the state that I am.” Amar could not bear it anymore.

“Amar, I know how you two have been. You looked so good together. Just perfect for each other. Why don’t you try getting her back?” Raj was trying his best to calm Amar.

“Because now it’s too late Raj. She has moved on. Till when she would have tolerated me. This was bound to happen one day. I wished I could have taken the hints she kept giving me. She tried everything to make “Us” happen. I was such a fool. I ruined it all.” Amar was filled with guilt. Raj wished he could help Amar, but whatever Amar was going through was something he asked for. It was his anger and jealousy that ruined things between him and Vrinda.

Raj knew it was too late now; Vrinda has finally moved on. All the rantings that Amar did, all the fights that Amar had with her; snapped whatever was left between her and Amar. Moving away from him was the only option she had. She went through a painful process and became strong to have the peace which was now missing being with Amar. She still had some weak moments when she would reply to Amar but slowly she was able to control those weak moments too.

“I wished I just get to meet her once. Just once so that I could apologies to her for what I did to her. I wish she meets me just once and let me open my heart to her. I just want to let her know how much sorry I am for whatever I did to her. She was so much with me and I ruined it so badly. I wish I could meet her just once.” Amar prayed for just one meeting. Today even meeting that girl who used to make two to three excuses every day to meet him was not possible.

Amar was filled with the guilt, he woke up finally; realised what he has done. Wanted to correct his fault but alas it was too late.

The sun that shined always above him has finally set bringing him darkness and sorrow.