The truth of the matter is I have trust issues, over the years they have gotten bitterly worst in a degree or have they? what I'm asking and telling you is that people are not trust worthy. We lie, we tell the truth and then we lie some more. Because I am very analytical and have really good memory this makes my circle smaller and smaller. Once you have told me a lie our relationship has now been put under a microscope. The second time I know you have lied you are now under investigation. The third time it really doesn't matter as much because the first lie was too much. Because of my mind automatically having this amazing system its hard for me to keep embracing the love that I know God wants me to give.

Do I completely  just let everyone I know go? I have....Before graduating high school I mentally did my first drop. Due to the fact it seemed like everything was all peachy and cream with some it wasn't but the best part of my mind is my sensor. I have grown to thank God so much for my gifts, especially allowing me to see right thru... excuse my French but bull shit. I didn't understand at first why our teachers would say " the people your friends with now you won't be" For the most part its truth for some. My mind did a complete 360 before walking across the stage. The fact of being pregnant helped me a lot, no I'm not saying get pregnant early not saying that all lol. But it was a new level of maturity for me. I had this child growing inside of me that needed me to be different, to be courageous to not take the bull shit and most of all protect his mind.

Some people won't understand usually those are the people who cant see their flaws. Be careful of people who are quick to snap back and not listen to advice... they are broken. which brings me to why I'm writing this post this evening. We all are broken (flawed) but its up to us to finally say hey God heal me, fix me. Do what it is you need to do for me so I can be set free. So regardless of the lies people tell me I can see the good in them. (I'm still broken) but that's ok because I admit to my brokenness, I'm able to see where I fall short of his glory. At times I don't want to control talking about people because I just want to vent and be messy. Which sets me up for destruction every time. Be careful how far you let your thoughts wonder.

I'm trying to work on this too. what do you mean? I mean for example when your a child and you begin to think there is a monster under your bed the more you lay there thinking about what he can do to you or how he is going to do it starts to feed and grow a even bigger monster (Flaw). A lot of people are walking around with monster's and boogie bears clawing at them each and every day. I understand that you want to keep being in the same state of mind until situations change but sometimes we have to pick those flaws up and tie them together and change our own situation. Although we are flawed, to some one who needs to see them they are beautiful. How? because someone out there needs to see your flaws but please don't tie them up and make them so beautiful that instead of helping another person you participate in turning their flaws into scars. On the count of three scream it with me.... I AM ENOUGH!