Another Christmas approaches as I sit at my (barely working) laptop and pray that someone truly hears me this year, just as I have prayed every year.

Our Christmas tree is lit up for Santa and the kids have their stockings hung from the fireplace mantel… Will there be anything in them? I’m not sure.

Will there be gifts for the kids to open? I’m not sure…

And, as the dreadful feeling that comes with seeing less appreciative people get more – sets in, I refuse to allow it to leave me less humbled.

Our electricity is on, gas is on, there’s hot water for baths and food to fill their bellies. I’m so thankful we have these basic necessities that so many take for granted. And, we have each other.

We have learned through our struggles to love unconditionally without ever expecting even an “I love you” in return and a lot of the times we aren’t told.

More of the people we hardly know, say it – rather than the ones we’ve spent our entire lives with.

We give what we can because we know what it’s like to go unheard and brushed aside. It happens more often than most would assume. But, it never stops us from loving anyways.

Let me be completely honest here – it hurts. To feel like a shadow that only comes to life when someone needs something. It digs deep and makes a person feel like they’re nothing unless they have something other than love to give. It’s a wound that never heals.

In the midst of this holiday season I’ve seen people trampled over, pushed out of the way and their pockets sucked dry just from paying bills.

There’s less respect and more materialism. There is less FAMILY and more competitiveness in who’s got more money or the best gadgets.

There’s more jealousy and less love. So, I’m happy that those who seek LOVE come to me and my kids. It means they know it’s unconditional and sincere and if not for our struggles, I’m not sure we would have such a gigantic capacity to love others.

My wish this year is for my children to know how amazing they are. I wish for them to have everything they need and more because they’ve worked hard and it never goes unnoticed. I wish for us to be unconditionally loved and to finally be heard rather than a back up plan.

I wish for more giving and

less taking.

I wish for less judgment and more understanding.

I’ve walked a mile in many shoes but have yet to meet one brave enough to walk a mile in mine.

And… I still believe.

I still love.

I still work.

I still write.

I still share my story because someone out there understands and will find comfort in it.

I still have a lot of love to give.

Heart blessings to the “rich” and Financial blessings to the “poor”.

Amber M. Royse