This essay was originally posted on Huffington Post:

Even though for most people Valentine's Day is a night for great romance, almost from the time I came out at forty, for me it has been bittersweet. Although for twenty-four years I have shared many romantic Valentine's Days with Doug, the love of my life to whom I am now legally married, on Valentine's Day two of my best friends died tragically because they were gay. There is a strange irony that loving someone of the same sex could bring both such joy and such pain.

I met Ken in a support group for gay fathers. The group was instrumental in resolving many of the conflicts I had about my hidden homosexual desires. Everyone there had come out to their wives and they were seeking to find ways to deal with the loss of losing their families. These men were my entire circle of friends when I first came out.

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