Last night, while watching a special I had recorded, I was reminded of one of my favorite Chinese fables. The ancient story is a Taoist proverb about an old farmer whose only horse runs away. All of the villagers are sad for him, but the farmer remains calm and says, “We’ll see.” When the horse returns, it brings several wild horses with it, tripling the farmers stable. “How wonderful!” the villagers exclaim at his good fortune, but again the farmer replies, “We’ll see.” Later, the farmer’s son falls off the horse, breaking his leg. Once again, the villagers are sad for him, and again, the farmer says, “We’ll see.” The story ends with the military coming to town to conscript local boys into the army, but the farmer’s son is overlooked because he has a broken leg.

“How wonderful” … “We’ll see.” – You get the point (I hope).

Here is the story that had me thinking in Chinese proverb last night:

A child was born in 1947, and lived in a very poor suburb of San Francisco. He and his three siblings were raised by their single mother and grandmother. Shortly after his birth, the boy developed Rickets; a bone disease caused by a lack of Vitamin D.

As the child grew, he developed bowled legs and pigeon-toes, due to the illness. The family’s only income was from their mother’s work in a psychiatric ward and they could not afford the surgery that could fix the problem. The child suffered years of physical pain, as well as ridicule from neighborhood children. His grandmother would take down the curtain rods each night and strap them to the child, so that they might straighten his legs.

All of the people felt bad for the poor child, but the local wise man did not. He simply said, “We’ll see.”

The boy became determined to fix the problem and he began limping up and down the fence that surrounded his house, balancing himself on the posts, in an effort to force a proper walk. He did this so often that the grass died and the ground returned to dirt along the path which he had created. Through sheer determination, the boy eventually fixed his walk, bringing an end to the pain and ridicule.

All of the people were happy for the boy, but the local wise man was not. He simply said, “We’ll see.”

Finally accepted by his peers, the teenager joined a notorious street gang. He quickly became embroiled in the petty criminality of the street gang and was sent to a local youth detention center for fighting. He was forced to spend a week at the facility, away from his family.

All of the people were concerned for the teenager’s future, but the local wise man was not. He simply said, “We’ll see.”

In an effort to keep the young man out of trouble, his grandmother arranged for him to become the manager for his high school football team. After a short while, the young man realized that he was at least as good as the actual players and became a member of the team as well.

After high school, the young man enrolled in San Francisco City College and continued to play football. He dominated the competition and transferred to the University of Southern California with a full scholarship, where he broke many records and even won the Heisman Trophy by the greatest margin of victory in that award’s history.

The man went on to an extremely successful career in the NFL that lasted eleven record-breaking seasons. He was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1985, and became a hero to many children. After football, the man found even greater financial success in sports commentary and endorsements, as well as multiple movie and television roles.

Over the course of his life, the man would love and marry two beautiful women and father five children in all. Although one would die at age two in a tragic accident, the other four wanted for nothing.

All of the people were now convinced; this man’s life is a success! He is a hero! Can’t you see that old man? The local wise man could not. He simply said, “We’ll see.”

On New Year’s morning in 1989, our hero’s second wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, burst from behind some bushes at the front of her mansion and ran wildly toward the gate screaming, “He is going to kill me!” She had a bloody lip, blackened eye, and swollen face. She was running to the gate so that she could hit the button that would allow police to gain entrance to the compound.

The officers had again been called on a disturbance (one of many times), but were about to leave, because they had been informed by the housekeeper that they were not needed after all. Nicole just kept repeating to police, over and over, that O.J. had threatened to kill her.

O.J. Simpson was arrested and finally convicted of spousal abuse. He was fined less than $500 and given 120 hours of community service, which he mostly avoided by raising money for the Ronald McDonald House.

All of the people admitted that they had finally seen the wisdom of the old man. Their hero was not perfect, but surely he had learned the error of his ways. They went to the now very old wise man, to congratulate him on his great wisdom. The wise man shook his head, and again simply said, “We’ll see.”

The End… sort of.

The rest is well known. Nicole Brown was stabbed to death along with Ronald Goldman in June of 1994. Goldman was a friend of Nicole’s, and a waiter from the restaurant where Brown and her mother had just eaten. He was at her house that night to return some eye-glasses that had been left at the restaurant, when he happened upon the crime. O.J. Simpson was acquitted of the murders in 1995, but found responsible for the deaths in a civil trial in 1997, and forced to pay over $30 Million in damages to the Goldman and Brown families. This should be the end of our story, but it really isn’t

As a narcissistic writer, I of course have to make everything about me. In order to explain this next part, I am required to make a confession. In the winter of 1997, I was newly married to my first wife, and because we did not yet have a family, we went out quite a bit. We would drink at our local tavern nearly every night, and as relationships never flourish in such environments, there was a lot of drunken fighting.

On one of those nights, we had been drinking heavily, and after leaving the bar, we decided to get something to eat. I have no idea what ridiculous slight brought on the fight, but by the time we were in the drive-thru, we were pushing and shoving, and I was yanking her by her hair. This is hard to admit, but my memory tells me that I was doing it violently.

The car behind us witnessed the “scuffle” and called 911. By the time we were at the window to retrieve the food, our car was surrounded by police, and I was being yanked out and hand-cuffed. My wife begged the officers not to arrest me, but they told her that they had no choice and it was not up to her.

I went to jail and had to be bailed out by anyone other than my young wife. Ironically, it was the bartender that bailed me out, ensuring even better tips in the coming nights. Of course there would be other nights; this incident was obviously my wife’s fault and the heavy drinking had nothing to do with it.

As I was being released, I was given detailed instructions as to what had to happen next. The officer stressed that I should not contact with my wife in any way, regardless of her feelings, for the next few days. He told me that they would be checking to make sure I did not, and if I did, I would be immediately arrested and things would get a whole lot worse for me.

At the time, I thought this was ridiculous, and the officer oddly agreed with me. He proceeded to tell me that since the murders of Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman, new rules regarding domestic abuse had been put in place and officers were under extreme pressure to enforce those rules vigorously. A domestic violence murder that had not been proven in court had effected the changes in procedure for which many advocates had been begging for years; strange, when you think about it.

Since that night, I have often wondered how much pain has been avoided in this country because of what happened to Brown and Goldman. This is not to say that O.J.‘s “laughably alleged” crime has saved many people’s lives; he is one-hundred-percent the problem, and in my opinion, deserves to spend what remains of his life in prison. It only makes me wonder why so many have to be sacrificed for changes to occur.

The charges against me were dropped in court and the police were never again required in my relationship disputes. I have, by no means, led anything close to perfect life, but I did not go on to a future of chronic domestic abuse, like many do.

If the wise man in my story were real, I think he would say that human interaction is far too complex a system to allow judgements from any human being. I would tell him that I finally understand that we are incapable of appreciating the unintended consequences of our actions. I would also say that I will no longer pretend to understand why things happen; I will merely live my life the best I can without judgement and simply hope for the best.

To that he would probably just say, “We’ll see.”