“Acceptance begins to happen when we stop trying to change something about our partner.  At that point we become more sad and less angry.  When you don't change in a way that your husband wants you to, he will eventually realize that you are just not going to be the way he wants you to be (locked in a cage, under control, only attending to him, a supermodel, etc.).  It is a real experience of loss for him.  He loses his image of how he believed you were or could be.  It’s kind of pitiable, but it's necessary if he is to love who you really are.”