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Terry Pratchett

“Stanley always followed the rules. All sorts of things could go wrong if you didn't.
So far he'd done 1:Upon Discovery of the Fire, Remain Calm.
Now he'd come to 2: Shout 'Fire!' in a Loud, Clear Voice.
'Fire!' he shouted, and then ticked off 2 with his pencil.
Next was: 3: Endeavour to Extinguish Fire If Possible.
Stanley went to the door and opened it. Flames and smoke billowed in. He stared at them for a moment, shook his head, and shut the door.
Paragraph 4 said: If Trapped by Fire, Endeavour to Escape. Do Not Open Doors If Warm. Do Not Use Stairs If Burning. If No Exit Presents Itself Remain Calm and Await a) Rescue or b) Death.”

Terry Pratchett, Going Postal
tags: humor
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Going Postal (Discworld, #33; Moist von Lipwig, #1) Going Postal by Terry Pratchett
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