Lizzy > Lizzy's Quotes

“Have you ever fought an opponent you had no defense against? Like a fire breather or an acid spitter?"
"Once I faced a female with diamond skin," Nix said breathlessly. "I was transfixed - even as she was choking the life out of me."
"Really?"
"No, I saw that character on X-Men. I just wanted to commiserate. Alas, I have no weaknesses.”
― Kresley Cole, Pleasure of a Dark Prince

“I'm saying that I'm a moody, insecure, narrow-minded, jealous, borderline homicidal bitch, and I want you to promise me that you're okay with that, because it's who I am, and you're what I need.”
― Jeaniene Frost, Halfway to the Grave

“Then you remember the dream,” Mencheres stated. “That bodes ill.”
 
The fear of that made my reply snappy. “Hey, Walks Like An Egyptian, how about for once you drop the formal stuff and talk like you live in the twenty-first century?”
 
The shit’s gonna splatter, start buggin’, yo,” Mencheres responded instantly.
 
I stared at him, then burst out laughing, which was highly inappropriate considering the very grave warning he’d just conveyed.”
― Jeaniene Frost, Destined for an Early Grave

“Lucifer's bouncing balls, Kitten, not again!”
― Jeaniene Frost, Halfway to the Grave

“Why don't I just give you a pair of my panties to hang around your neck? Then whenever you feel jealous, you can wave them at whoever's pissing you off.”
― Jeaniene frost

“What the hell was that?” I gasped. “Premature inflammation,” he replied. “Happens sometimes. Very embarrassing. I don’t like to talk about it.”
― Jeaniene Frost, This Side of the Grave

“And that, Annette, is called Pilates”
― Jeaniene Frost, One Foot in the Grave

“Actually, Justina, I didn't just ring you to chat about what an undead murderer I was...right, degenerate whore as well. Did I ever tell you my mum was one? No? Oh, blimey, I come from a long line of whores, in fact I called to give you the good news. I asked you daughter to marry me. Now, do you want me to call you Mum straightaway, or wait until after the wedding?”
― Jeaniene Frost, At Grave's End

“You! You tricked me! I never want to see you or that bottle of liquid arsenic again!”

I chucked the empty moonshine jug at him. Or tried to. It missed him by a dozen feet.

He picked it up in astonishment. “You drank the whole bloody thing? You were only supposed to have a few sips!”

“Did you say that? Did you?” He reached me just as I felt the ground tip. “Didn’t say anything. I’ve got those names, so that’s all that matters, but you men…you’re all alike. Alive, dead, undead—all perverts! I had a drunken pervert in my pants! Do you know how unsanitary that is?”

Bones held me upright. I would have protested, but I couldn’t remember how to. “What are you saying?”

“Winston poltergeisted my panties, that’s what!” I announced with a loud hiccup.

“Why, you scurvy, lecherous spook!” Bones yelled in the direction of the cemetery. “If my pipes still worked, I’d go right back there and piss on your grave!”
― Jeaniene Frost, Halfway to the Grave

“What's bothering me is that you dare to stand there and tell me what I do and do not feel about last night. That kissing you and holding you meant nothing to me. Then, to top it all off, that you were only reactiong to me because you were impaired? That's rich. You know what those drugs did to you in the first dose, before the second one made you comatose? They killed the bug up your arse?" said Bones.”
― Jeaniene Frost, Halfway to the Grave

“I resisted the urge to hurl my plate at him. “Of course not, Ian. It’s just that normally at this hour, Bones and I are fucking like rabbits, so I get twitchy when I have to wait for him to climb aboard.”
― Jeaniene Frost, At Grave's End

“That one tickled. If electrocution is your way of flirting, I commend you on your originality.”
― Jeaniene Frost, Once Burned

“No, I do my torturing in the dungeon like any other respectable castle owner,”
― Jeaniene Frost, Once Burned

“My father was English. He date-raped my mother so she's hated English men ever since. You know my boyfriend's English, and I'm, uh, I'm half-English, which she's never been real happy about. If she finds out I'm dating someone English, she'll ah, think I' turning my back on her and becoming a foreigner.'
Cathy, that's the stupidest reason I've ever heard.”
― Jeaniene Frost, Halfway to the Grave

“I doubt you’ve ever been forced to nonstop bang a woman hyped up on the undead voodoo version of Spanish fly, have you?”
His chuckle was soft. “Can’t say that I have, Kitten.”
“Yeah, well, consider me an original.”
This time, when his lips brushed across my skin, it lasted more than a moment.
“I always have.”
― Jeaniene Frost, This Side of the Grave

“Can’t hear… call back… good luck…”
“Nïx, I know you’re faking the static.” She could picture her sister blowing into her fist directly at the receiver. The static abruptly stopped.
“Why?”
“It seemed less rude than the alternative.”
“What’s that?”
Click.”
― Kresley Cole

“SHE MAY BE AN EVIL BITCH, BUT SHE IS MY EVIL BITCH. AND I'LL HAVE NO OTHER”
― Kresley Cole, Kiss of a Demon King

“When he watched her sleeping, he often thought, My heart lies vulnerable outside my chest.”
― Kresley Cole, A Hunger Like No Other

“His debtors always assumed he'd demand their firstborn. Like I'm fucking Rumpelstiltskin? What would Lothaire do with countless squalling babes? Raise them in a kennel?”
― Kresley Cole, Lothaire

“Let's put the fun back in funeral!”
― Kresley Cole, Dark Needs at Night's Edge

“Nix to Declan:

Begin transcript—
Testing. Hello, hellooo, anybody out there? Check, check, one, two. Soft pee. Puh, puh. Resonance! Sooooooft pee. Alpha bravo disco tango duck.
This is Nïx! I’m the Ever-Knowing One, a goddess incandescent, incomparable, and irresistible. But enough about what you think of me. It’s a beautiful day in New Orleans. The wind is out of the east at a steady five knots and clouds look like rabbits … But enough about what you think of me!
Now, down to business—
Squirrel!
Where was I? [Long pause] Why am I in Regin’s car? Bertil, you crawl right back out of that bong this minute!
Oh, I remember! I am hereby laying down this track for Magister Declan Chase. If you are a mortal of the recorder peon class, know that Dekko and I go waaaaay back, and he’ll go berserk (snicker snicker) if he doesn’t receive this transmittal. …
Chase, riddle me this: what’s beautiful but monstrous, long of tooth but sharp of tooth and soft of mind, and can never ever tell a lie?
That’s right. The Enemy of Old can be very useful to you. So use him already.
P.S. Your middle name’s about to be spelled r-e-g-r-e-t.
And with that, I must bid you adieu. Don’t worry, we’ll catch up very soon. …
[Muffled] Who’s mummy’s wittle echolocator? That’s right—you are!
—End transcript”
― Kresley Cole, Dreams of a Dark Warrior

“As Lothaire lifted the lid with a sense of dread, Nïx murmured, “Hint: it’s the middle one.”
Elizabeth’s fragile finger.Seeing it severed like this brought on a visceral reaction—pain shooting through his own hand, radiating throughout his regenerated heart. He closed the lid with a swallow, sentimentally pocketing the package.
“You gave her your heart, and she gave you the bird.” Nïx sighed. “Songs will be written about this.”
― Kresley Cole, Lothaire

“He jerked back. "What is this? Be like you were with me the other times! When you melted for me."

"That was before I fully understood what a nasty piece of work you are."

"Because of a few shifter beheadings? Come on, Lizvetta, it's not as if I went around cock-slapping gnomes."

Her jaw dropped.”
― Kresley Cole, Lothaire

“When his thumb hovered over the red button, she stared at him aghast. “You’re truly going to … torture me?”
He cast her a puzzled look. “Why wouldn’t I torture you?”
Because you used to love me, used to cherish me. “I thought we had a moment yesterday? Didn’t you like seeing me in lingerie?”
In a monotone voice, he said, “Why did the charge throwers have no ill effect on you?”
He’s truly going to do it? Then fuck him. DEFCON. “Chase, I’ve tussled with vibrators stronger than your charge throwers.”
No reaction. “You consumed energy. And channeled it at will. How?”
All Valkyrie consumed it—they were each connected through a grid of mystical energy—but Regin was the only one she knew of who could radiate it through her body. She’d inherited the talent from her birth mother. “So how does one get started as a magister? College or trade school?”
“I don’t have the time or patience for games. Now, tell me, why do you … glow?”
“I touched a radioactive alien cock once.”
He pressed the button.”
― Kresley Cole, Dreams of a Dark Warrior

“I never knew I could hate someone as deeply as I do you.”
“I often help others discover the outer limits of their hatred. It’s a talent of mine.”
― Kresley Cole, Lothaire

“Elizabeth,
With my compliments.
You will never get your claws into another one of mine.
Rot in hell,
L
Nïx clasped her hands over her chest, sighing, “He gave you his heart. That’s so romantic. So much better than a candy heart. Those get stuck in the fangs, you know.”
― Kresley Cole, Lothaire

“Mari began to suspect that this reflection was going to prove to be like that little computer paperclip assistant -- at first it helps, but after a while you just want the paperclip to die.”
― Kresley Cole, Wicked Deeds on a Winter's Night

“They desecrate Riora’s sacred temple! She will be enraged.”
“Oh, gods, look at the marble. We are all beyond doomed.”
“Somebody put a plant in front of it!”
― Kresley Cole, No Rest for the Wicked

“When the warden appeared outside their cell, he ogled Regin's bared midriff. Gross. Whenever men leered at her, Regin tended to leer back. She canted her head on the floor, turning it one way, then the other. "I finally understand what a dickie-do is. Your gut does stick out more than your dickie do.”
― Kresley Cole, Dreams of a Dark Warrior

“God give me anything but a good man's pity.”
― Kresley Cole, Kiss of a Demon King